Originally posted by Joe FistPlease forgive me oh great one.
THERE BE THE BLASHEMPHER (probably spelled it wrong) HOWARDGEE!!!!
HE IS A SERVANT OF GARFIELD!!! DO NOT BELIEVE HIS LIES!!!
WHOA TO YOU OH SERVANT OF FELINE!!! WHOA TO YOU!!!!
THE WORD OF DOG IS THE TRUE WORD OF DOG...(ummm or something like that)
OH YEAH!!! I BET YOU ARE HOMOSEXUAL BECAUSE YOU LIKE CATS SO IT IS YOU THAT WILL END UP IN HELL!!!! WE ARE SAVED!!!!
😀😛
How may I do penance?
Can I lick your balls for you....please let me sniff your white faeces...
...don't send me to doggy hell.....
...NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Originally posted by Joe FistI can only offer my testimony. I know that this pack is true. I know that if you pray to the big K dash 9, you too will receive an answer to the question -- "Where did we come from -- why are we here?"
NO!!! NO!!!!!!!!
CLEARLY YOU ARE FROM THE CHURCH OF LDC (LATTER DAY CANINES)!!! INFIDEL!!!!!
IT IS WRITTEN:
"The virgin weasel, Spanky, was visited by a divine visitor from the urinal from afar....she spoke these words....
You shall be blessed with a curr of mystical enegry and flatuence..."
I speak the true WORD OF DOG
I know that the pound is real. I testify that it is the only true source of life. All that I know, I testify to you in the name of Fido. Amen.
Extract from the works of St Bernard of The Snow
1 And seeing the packs, He went up on a mountain, and when He was seated His disciples came to Him wagging their tails.
2 Then He opened His mouth and taught them, barking:
3 "Blessed are the docked of tail, for theirs is the kingdom of doggie-heaven.
4 Blessed are those who howl, for they shall be comforted.
5 Blessed are the daschunds, for they shall inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for roast beef and gravy, for they shall be filled.
7 Blessed are the flea-ridden, or they shall obtain flea riddance.
8 Blessed are the sleek in coat, for they shall see DOG.
9 Blessed are the cat-chasers, for they shall be called sons of DOG.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted for peeing on the carpets' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of doggie-heaven.
11 "Blessed are you when they hit you with newspapers and take you to the vet, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake.
12 Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in doggie-heaven, for so they persecuted the pointers who were before you.
Here endeth the lesson, adog
Originally posted by howardgeeVery well heathen,
Please forgive me oh great one.
How may I do penance?
Can I lick your balls for you....please let me sniff your white faeces...
...don't send me to doggy hell.....
...NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Perform five urinations on five different fire hydrants every Sunday for the next five Sundays....you shall be saved so says THE WORD OF DOG
Originally posted by StarValleyWyPlease forgive me, my brother.
I can only offer my testimony. I know that this pack is true. I know that if you pray to the big K dash 9, you too will receive an answer to the question -- "Where did we come from -- why are we here?"
I know that the pound is real. I testify that it is the only true source of life. All that I know, I testify to you in the name of Fido. Amen.
I didn't realize you were referring to the European translation of THE WORD OF DOG and not the King Louie one.
As you mentioned, the pound is quite real and blessed is HE who serves THE WORD OF DOG.....(sniff, sniff)
FRISBEE!!! FRISBEE!!!!
Originally posted by yevgenipThank you, dog follower...I charge you with a very very important task:
Just some more material for this new relegion:
In what language is the dog-book written? Hebrew like the bible?
Dog in hebrew is: "Kelev".
Cat: "Hatul".
Man: "Adam".
God: "Elohim".
Bone: "Etzem".
Need any more?
Please create out of the finest silver a dog tag engraved with the following:
OUR DOG, KING OF THE DOGS
Please make 798,254 of these and mail to everyone in the continental United States (this is important)
After that, please wait further instructions....DOG BLESS
Originally posted by Joe FistI don't know , he smells an aweful lot like cat to me (sniff-sniff-sniff) .
THERE BE THE BLASHEMPHER (probably spelled it wrong) HOWARDGEE!!!!
HE IS A SERVANT OF GARFIELD!!! DO NOT BELIEVE HIS LIES!!!
WHOA TO YOU OH SERVANT OF FELINE!!! WHOA TO YOU!!!!
THE WORD OF DOG IS THE TRUE WORD OF DOG...(ummm or ...[text shortened]... O IT IS YOU THAT WILL END UP IN HELL!!!! WE ARE SAVED!!!!
😀😛
For it is writen in the holy book of DOG :
For he who lieth down in peace with the cat is an abomination in the sight of DOG .
For I , the DOG thy Master , will suffer not the scent of cat .
Yea , I say unto you , he who lieth with a cat will never lay with me in Basket , but will be cast out into the lake of suds , yea into eternal BATH !
Originally posted by Moldy CrowTis true....the blasphemer speaketh in rough tough of the cat and, I'm sure BlindFaith101 would agree, he is probably homosexual so......
I don't know , he smells an aweful lot like cat to me (sniff-sniff-sniff) .
For it is writen in the holy book of DOG :
For he who lieth down in peace with the cat is an abomination in the sight of DOG .
For I , the DOG thy Master , will suffer not the scent of cat .
Yea , I say unto you , he who lieth with a cat will never lay with me in Basket , but will be cast out into the lake of suds , yea into eternal BATH !
THE WORD OF DOG is the WORD OF DOG!!!! You do not believe!!!!! You are going to Hell!!!!
NEW DOG COMMANDMENT: Anyone who even writes the word "homosexual" or "cat" is going to Hell....
Wait!!! I mean everybody except me!!!
🙄😲😀
To All,
I realize I have been going about this all wrong. Instead of trying to speak like my favorite a-hole, BlindFaith101, throughout the gospel of THE WORD OF DOG I have decided to now to just cut & paste whatever he writes in any other thread. Obviously, I have replaced the word DOG when he is referrring to whatever he is referring to:
Here we go:
You feel that the different translations all are not the WORD OF DOG, that is what you believe.But try telling someone that gotten saved, by acceptting DOG'S PROMISE, from one of those translations. Are you going to tell them that they are not saved because YOU, donot accept that translation, as not being DOG'S WORD. Are you excluding them from SALVATION because, they donot understand DOG'S WORD the same as you.
I highly recommend to everyone this exercise who think BF101 is a big as douchebag as I do...it's quite therapeutic
Originally posted by Joe FistOther potential substitutions -
To All,
I realize I have been going about this all wrong. Instead of trying to speak like my favorite a-hole, BlindFaith101, throughout the gospel of THE WORD OF DOG I have decided to now to just cut & paste whatever he writes in any other thread. Obviously, I have replaced the word DOG when he is referrring to whatever he is referring to:
Here we g ...[text shortened]... o everyone this exercise who think BF101 is a big as douchebag as I do...it's quite therapeutic
Salvation = Salivation
Heaven = Basket or Yard
Hell = Bath
Obey = Heel
From dog-prophet, BlindFaith101:
THE WORD OF DOG SAYS: And the DOG commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely pee: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not pee on it: for in the day that thou pee-pee there of thou shat surely die. BF101 1:1,2
Originally posted by Joe FistLMAO !
From dog-prophet, BlindFaith101:
THE WORD OF DOG SAYS: And the DOG commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely pee: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not pee on it: for in the day that thou pee-pee there of thou shat surely die. BF101 1:1,2
More pearls of wisdom from our favorite dog-scholar BlindFaith 101:
DOG created man with the ability to think, to reason, to urinate standing upright. There is more going on in peeing up right, then you or I can really understand. True there are those that are not using their weenies the right way and cannot understand what is going on in their pants. There are those who are self centered on their own weenies. Then there are those whose thoughts, are about why are their weenies lean a certain way. We all have our own weiners, the most valuable gift that we have been given. Yes DOG did create our weiners to be simple, but........And I found that though DOG has made men upright, and stiff each weiner has turned away to follow his own downward road. BF101 1:3
Then DOG said, "Let us make a man- someone like ourselves, to be the master of his little weasel." So DOG made man like his maker. Like DOG did DOG make man except that man cannot lick himself like DOG; BF101 1:4
As it is written in Doberman II , vs 3-5 :
3: And Lassie said unto the pack , " Verly I say unto thee , that unless a man pissith upon three legs as The DOG Thy MASTER he shall not inherit the Kingdom of Yard ."
4:"Neither shall he be able to lay tongue upon his nob , for such is the will of DOG that only he who sniffeth of the Master's butt shall do such ."
5:And then Lassie did pant .