THE WORD OF DOG

Originally posted by Moldy Crow
As it is written in Doberman II , vs 3-5 :

3: And Lassie said unto the pack , " Verly I say unto thee , that unless a man pissith upon three legs as The DOG Thy MASTER he shall not inherit the Kingdom of Yard ."
4:"Neither shall he be able to lay tongue upon his nob , for such is the will of DOG that only he who sniffeth of the Master's butt shall do such ."
5:And then Lassie did pant .

A reading from the book of Blindfaith101 (I am so grateful I can rely on him for daily material):

Each translation fits to the different understanding. They all testify to the comming of THE SON OF DOG, LASSIE. Who came to this world as a DOG. Who lived a life without sin. Who was accused, indicted, spaded, de-fleaed, and housebroken. All versions, languges, and translations testify of those facts.

Originally posted by Joe Fist
A reading from the book of Blindfaith101 (I am so grateful I can rely on him for daily material):

Each translation fits to the different understanding. They all testify to the comming of THE SON OF DOG, LASSIE. Who came to this world as a DOG. Who lived a life without sin. Who was accused, indicted, spaded, de-fleaed, and housebroken. All versions, languges, and translations testify of those facts.

TESTIMONIAL OF BLINDFAITH101!!! HE HAS CONVERTED FROM CHRISTIANITY TO OUR FAITH!!!! ALL BE PRAISED!!! HERE IT IS IN HIS OWN WORDS:

I chose to believe that, THE WORD OF DOG is the only WORD OF DOG . I choose to accept DOG as my SAVIOR. I chose to have absolute faith in THE WORD OF DOG,without question. I have done my personal search of THE WORD OF DOG. I have seen some of things that others disagreed with. But I saw something within myself, a little pee-pee. I also saw something else, that everybody else has a bigger pee-pee than me 🙁. For this, I ask the forgiveness of THE DOG.

Joe Fist: Trouble at forums
Russ: Oh no - what kind of trouble?
Joe Fist: One on't poster gone owt spamming on thread.
Russ: Pardon?
Joe Fist: One on't posters gone owt spamming on thread.
Russ: I don't understand what you're saying.
Joe Fist: [slightly irritatedly and with exaggeratedly clear accent] One of the poster has gone out spamming on the thread.
Russ: Well what on earth does that mean?
Joe fist: *I* don't know - Mr Chris just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the Forums, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Spaniel Inquisition.


Suddenly the door flies open and Cardinal Poodle of Spain (RB Hill)enters, flanked by two junior cardinals. Cardinal Setter (SVW) has goggles pushed over his forehead. Cardinal Corgi (Moldy Cow) is just Cardinal Corgi

Poodle: NOBODY expects the Spaniel Inquisition! Our chief weapon is Fangs...fangs and fleas...fleas and fangs.... Our two weapons are fleas and fang...and ruthless efficiency to lick our nads.... Our *three* weapons are fleas, fangs, and ruthless efficiency to lick our nads...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Postman.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fleas, fangs.... I'll come in again.

Originally posted by Jay Peatea
Joe Fist: Trouble at forums
Russ: Oh no - what kind of trouble?
Joe Fist: One on't poster gone owt spamming on thread.
Russ: Pardon?
Joe Fist: One on't posters gone owt spamming on thread.
Russ: I don't understand what you're saying.
Joe Fist: [slightly irritatedly and with exaggeratedly clear accent] One of the poster has gone out spamming on t ...[text shortened]... .... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fleas, fangs.... I'll come in again.

ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF !

Originally posted by Joe Fist
Hi Jay,

I'll be honest and say I don't completely understand what you wrote but I think it was meant to be funny....

But, you might be inciting me into a debate so......

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU BELIEVE IN THE WORD OF DOG OR NOT!!!! THE WORD OF DOG IS THE TRUE WORD OF DOG!!!! BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF YOU DO, I ASSUME YOU DON'T SO YOU ARE GOING TO ...[text shortened]... SO GOING TO HELL!!!!! 🙄😀😵😏

Okay now I am taking a deep breath from all that preaching 😴

Originally posted by Starrman
Joe, it's a Dogism, based upon that finest of Monty Python sketches 'The Spanish Inquisition' if you have never seen it, I urge you to hire it on video or download it from somewhere maybe, it is pure comic genius 🙂

DOG be with you my son 🙂

Originally posted by Joe Fist
Hi Jay,

I'll be honest and say I don't completely understand what you wrote but I think it was meant to be funny....

But, you might be inciting me into a debate so......

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU BELIEVE IN THE WORD OF DOG OR NOT!!!! ...[text shortened]... }

Okay now I am taking a deep breath from all that preaching 😴

..And DOG appeared to Fido and glory shone around, and DOG said "Bewareth those who endlessly quoteth Monty Python..for they are most often without wit".

Lets us pray (2)

DOG Farter who farts in heaven.
Marrow be thy bone,
Thy Piss be done,
on earth as it is on lampposts
Give us this day our daily sniff.
And give us others' dogmesses
as we give them dogmesses to lick and smell
And lead us not in to our kennel
But deliver us to the fire place
For there is the warmth,
Where we can curl up and lick
for ever and ever...
our arse.

Originally posted by howardgee
Lets us pray (2)

DOG Farter who farts in heaven.
Marrow be thy bone,
Thy Piss be done,
on earth as it is on lampposts
Give us this day our daily sniff.
And give us others' dogmesses
as we give them dogmesses to lick and smell
And lead us not in to our kennel
But deliver us to the fire place
For there is the warmth,
Where we can curl up and lick
for ever and ever...
our arse.

Today's daily sermon by brother BF101,

And the DOG came and spaded unto them, saying, All Alpo is given unto me in heaven and earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, sniffing their privates in the name of the DOG, and of the WEASEL, and the Holy Pooper: Teaching them to fetch all things whatsoever I have commanded you:THE WORD OF DOG 1:11-20

Todays nap time meditation -

We turn (in circles) to the book of Dalmatians vs 8-19 -

8: And it came to pass that a great pack gathered round him to hear Lassie . And it came to pass that they all sat .
9: Lassie spoke :
10: "Blessed is the squirrel chaser , for he shall inheret the back yard .
11: Blessed is he that openeth the alpo , for as he fills the bowl of DOG so shall his bowl be filled .
12: Blessed be the frisbee thrower , for as his frisbee is thrown , so shall it be brought back to him again and again .
13: Blessed be the dog who rolleth over . He shall have his belly scratched and be called "pooch" by MASTER .
14: But woe to he who putteth on the uniform and doeth come into the back yard uninvited ! Woe unto ye metermen , woe unto ye cable guys ! Ye come falsly bearing dry biscuits and giving pats .
15: But you cannot hide your mace from the NOSE OF DOG !
16: I say unto you , surely the DOG shall bite ye who come unbidden into the YARD !
17: And DOG shall chase you over FENCE , yea even into the neighbors yard !"
18: And then did Lassie do tricks for the pack . And they were amazed .
19: And all did know from his tricks and speaking that he was DOG .