Originally posted by deathbypawnOK, I asked you those questions for a reason. I happen to believe that God could care less who you happen to marry or relate to as long as you are happy and find fulfillment and meaning. My judgment is that if you believe that there is that one person out there and no one else, you create an environment where you don't have to take any responsiblity for your behaviors or attitudes in the relationship because it is of God's purpose and not mine. You have taken a scripture verse that was intended to encourage prayer and assumed that there was something of Santa Claus or magic in it. Now I would bet that you are willing to admit that many a couple has married with that idea that you have and it hasn't worked out.
God said ask and it wil be given unto you. I have asked and prayed (trying not to turn this into a religious forum) to God for him to send me someone special to share this world with. I know He will deliver it is just a matter of timing that is all.
I give you credit for bringing up an important part of relationships- our preconceived ideas of "the way it should be." A good start to the Ivory Tower thread.
Originally posted by kirksey957That sir is where I am going to have to disagree with you. true it does not give me an excuse to live life the way I want to live it formicating with as many women as possible. Believe me I have done all that, it does not give me an excuse to go out an get wasted every chance I get and I have done that as well.I do pray more than you know. i believe that everything i do I do with the purpose of glorifying God. That being said I also want to find a women with those same hopes and life goals. I believe that because I have turned away from all of those unhealthy things "premarital sex" boozing and drugging and turned my eyes to where they belong God will bless me> I believe that a relationship that is based around him will stay together.
OK, I asked you those questions for a reason. I happen to believe that God could care less who you happen to marry or relate to as long as you are happy and find fulfillment and meaning. My judgment is that if you believe that there is that one person out there and no one else, you create an environment where you don't have to take any responsiblity f ...[text shortened]... s- our preconceived ideas of "the way it should be." A good start to the Ivory Tower thread.
Now i am going to describe you two different pictures as the type of relationship I want.
Picture Man is on a straight line going horizontaly. Now picture woman also on a straight horizonatal line. These run parellel to each other and never touch and never meet so long as they have their own wants and needs and their eyes focused on their own ideas and goals. Now picture that same man and same women both with the common goal which is to serve goal and glorify Him now God brings those two lines together to form a blessed union the pleases him.
Second picture. Picture a man as a glass of blue liquid and picture woman as a glass of red liquid, now pour both of the glasses out into a bowl and what do you get a nasty brownish purplish color that just doesnt mix. Now lets say man pours out his cup and fills it with water and woman dumps out her cup and fills it with water. Water representing Christs love then they dump out their cups into a bowl but alas it is still water.
I hope this is pretty clear to you what i am looking for, I am a 24 year old man who is selabut by choice, who is looking for a woman with these goals.
Doc I really appreciate your time on this matter. Allowing me to be myself lets start from the very beginning on how to approach a female that you think is attractive. What do you say to her not to come on too strong. It is clear that I need a little help not much just a little so walk me through every step from introductions to marriage and kids. Kind of like a twelve step program for alcholics. Do this for me and i would be forever greatful.
1. How do I initiate conversation to make it look like I am interested but not overbering?
2. When she invite me back to her place for a midnight roll in the sack if she invites me back how do i let her know that i think she is very attractive but I am not looking for that at the moment but still keep her interest? Chances are if she was inviting me back she wouldnt be the one anyway.
3. Lets say I manage to get her number after initiating conversation should I let her call me should I call her how long should I wait?
4. I very rarely introduce women I am interested in to my son Cayden because I am never sure if it is going to work out and I dont want to create emotional attachment for him, how long after we have been dating should our children meet each other? Concerning emoptional safety of the kids and not taking things to fast.
5. DO you believe in testing out the product before purchasing, that is to say before you get married sleep together at least once to see if they are any good. I wish to avoid this if possible.
6. How do you approach the subject of ingagement and after how long?
7. When does she meet your parents when do you meet hers?
8. Do you ask her fathers permissin for his daughters hand in marriage before asking her?
9. How do you broach the subject of marriage? Do you take her shopping for a ring or make it a surprise???
All of these things remain a mystery to me please help.
Originally posted by deathbypawnYou want a 12 step program for meeting girls? OK, you 've given me an idea and there is a glimmer of wisdom in all that you said. What is the first step of AA? "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable." Now replace the word alcohol with women or delusional thinking about women. I believe that if you were to go to an open AA meeting or an Al-Anon meeting you might hear people talk about the true nature of life and relationships. You might try that as a homework assignment. I am not putting your down when I say this but some of your illustrations are making you drunk with delusions and distorting your reality. You have incredibly high expectations of the way things should be. Let me think about your questions. Right now they are unimportant if you don't get that 1st step down.
That sir is where I am going to have to disagree with you. true it does not give me an excuse to live life the way I want to live it formicating with as many women as possible. Believe me I have done all that, it does not give me an excuse to go out an get wasted every chance I get and I have done that as well.I do pray more than you know. i believe that ...[text shortened]... g for a ring or make it a surprise???
All of these things remain a mystery to me please help.
What I'm sensing here is a desire to meet the perfect match, a soulmate. The first bit of advice I can offer here is that you put no more details into this untill you've met her. This seems like a contradiction in terms but I assure that the more you describe and imagine her to be the less likely it is that you will find her.
If you find a woman who is like you and has the same goals you, you will build a quick relationship, but I assure you your lives will eventually become hallow.The fullfillment you seek is an extension of what you find missing in your own life. If she is like you, she cannot give you that.
One of my favorite love songs is called "sometimes when we touch" by dan hill. I suggest you find a copy of this song and listen to it. It is about a man slowly discovering that he is in love. In one line he says " at times I'd like to break you and drag you to your knees, at times I'd like to break through and hold you endlessly". This is what love can bring you. The differences your going to find, the arguments and the discovering of how different you really are is a reward beyond words.
The one you seek is not your choice. She is the answer to what you find missing inside. Do not try to understand her yet. No matter how long you will know her I tell you now that you will spend the rest of your life trying to know her.
That is how you will know she is the one.
Nyxie
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OK, shall we move on to another yet related topic. What is it that you look for in a significant other/spouse? It is my belief that what we are attracted to often makes no sense at all as we are initially operating out of our unconscious need to resolve past issues and we seek out people who can do that....or at least make us miserable in our search. Let me give an example. You grow up with a controlling parent. Drove you nuts your whole like. Don't God have a sense of humor? Guess what? Yep, you just started datin momma.
Things to look for:
1) Is their daddy in prison for molesting children?
2) Do they have a job? Or at least independently wealthy.
3) Are they still living with their parents?
4) How many jobs have they had in the past 2 years?
5) How much debt do they carry? You better know money as that is #1 for messing up relationships.
6) What's their house/apt look like? Do they need a maid?
7) Can they (male and female) cook?
8) Are they smart? (can you respect their intellect)
OK, give me your thoughts. We're off to a good start.
Originally posted by pcaspianDon't get your panties in a bunch pmyshkin, it's called 'dramatic license'. Besides, you can't expect everthing Kirksey says to correlate directly with the Bible. After all, the Bible isn't perfect. 😀
Originally posted by kirksey957
[b]Where did you get that though? Is there some place in the Bible where God says that?
LOL. Since when have Biblical scripts any vague correlation with what you preach ?
Thanks for the laugh!
[/b]
Cheers!
Just a thought.....
instead of looking for the "perfect" person for you....
have you thought of being the "perfect" person for someone else?
And, how about dropping the "perfect" stinky stuff...
Just, look for a good person who is right for you that you are right for?
[i]Originally posted by shavixmir[/i
Do not wear white socks. Seriously…just don’t.
If you are going to be naked (like when having sex) remove your socks. If there’s one thing less attractive than a naked man, it’s a naked man with socks on.
Unless, you want to give her a good laugh...😀
which could get you past an argument...
worked on me...😉
humor is quite sexy...😀
Originally posted by bbarr
Don't get your panties in a bunch pmyshkin, it's called 'dramatic license'. Besides, you can't expect everthing Kirksey says to correlate directly with the Bible. After all, the Bible isn't perfect. 😀
Cheers!
I believed I used the words "vague correlation". eg. "Your face has a vague correlation to the arse of a buffalo."
Mind you in your case, that probably is a bad example of vague.
Lets rather say by vague, I meant something which would draw an association of familiarity to the issue in question.
cheers
Originally posted by pcaspianYou're just a bundle of pent up sexual aggression, pmyshkin! Your fascination with arses indicates your apparent homophobia may actually be projection. Not that there's anything wrong with that. 😀
Originally posted by bbarr
[b]Don't get your panties in a bunch pmyshkin, it's called 'dramatic license'. Besides, you can't expect everthing Kirksey says to correlate directly with the Bible. After all, the Bible isn't perfect. 😀
Cheers!
I believed I used the words "vague correlation". eg. "Your face has a vague correlation t ...[text shortened]... something which would draw an association of familiarity to the issue in question.
cheers
[/b]
Cheers!
Originally posted by bbarrBut, Bennett, does not the Bible say to "Not covet they neighbor's ass." I am sure he will find a way to rebuke even that.
You're just a bundle of pent up sexual aggression, pmyshkin! Your fascination with arses indicates your apparent homophobia may actually be projection. Not that there's anything wrong with that. 😀
Cheers!