The nineteen year old son takes his sixteen year old girlfriend home to meet the parents.
She's very shy in front of them, and refuses to take a drink from his dad.
"aw come on, only one li'l drink, it won't do any harm," the dad says. it's only an Irish whiskey," he insists.
So she takes it, and sips it slowly.
So she whispers to the son, "why does he call it Irish whiskey, when it's Scottish whiskey,"
16 Jan 17
Originally posted by pawnpawI see whisky has just gone up in Saudi Arabia .
The nineteen year old son takes his sixteen year old girlfriend home to meet the parents.
She's very shy in front of them, and refuses to take a drink from his dad.
"aw come on, only one li'l drink, it won't do any harm," the dad says. it's only an Irish whiskey," he insists.
So she takes it, and sips it slowly.
So she whispers to the son, "why does he call it Irish whiskey, when it's Scottish whiskey,"
Its gone up another thirty lashes .😠
19 Jan 17
Originally posted by wolfgang59An old hippie was walking down the road when he stood on an old lemonade bottle ,out popped a Genie , " I am the Genie of the bottle ,I grant you one wish ".said the Genie.
I used to work in a recycling plant crushing Coca-Cola cans.
😞
It was soda pressing.
The hippie stroked his beard and then replied " hey man ,I wanna be uptight ,out-a-sight and in the groove ".
The Genie turned him into a tampax
21 Jan 17
Originally posted by whodeyAn old man was driving through the dark foggy countryside when his car suddenly came to a stop .The old man got out of his car and lifted his bonnet to see what was wrong with his car ,out of the fog came two horses ,one white and one black .
So this guy attends a horse funeral and one of the horses asked, "Why not a long face?"
the man was terrified ,then suddenly the white horse came to the fence and said " it's your high tension leads to your distributer " ..just as it would happen the man had a spare set in his boot, fitted them and drove off as fast as he could .
As daylight approached he came to a small country garage ,he talked to the owner and told him he was terrified at how this white horse had told him it was his HT leads .
The garage owner shaking his head replied " it was a good job it was the white horse that spoke to you sir "...." why "? said the frightened old man ..
" Well ,sir ...see the black horse ,he only knows a bit about plumbing "
03 Feb 17
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure.
* In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
* In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
* In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
* In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
* In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
* In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
* And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
03 Feb 17
Originally posted by PonderableI almost choked on my tea🙂
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure.
* In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
* In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
* In Western Europe they did ...[text shortened]... know what "please" meant.
* And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
05 Feb 17
Originally posted by Ponderable"In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant"
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure.
* In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
* In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
* In Western Europe they did ...[text shortened]... know what "please" meant.
* And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
Do you know how big is Africa?
About 11.7million square miles.
You could fit the USA, India and western Europe inside of it.
So which part of Africa was the survey done?
There's 54 different countries, each with different levels of development.
No true survey of that nature can be done in Africa.
05 Feb 17
Originally posted by pawnpaw🙄
"In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant"
Do you know how big is Africa?
About 11.7million square miles.
You could fit the USA, India and western Europe inside of it.
So which part of Africa was the survey done?
There's 54 different countries, each with different levels of development.
No true survey of that nature can be done in Africa.
06 Feb 17
Originally posted by pawnpawA blind man Comes into a bar and asks: Do you know the newst blond joke?
rant about not understanding stereotyping.
I am well Aware that there are People in the USA who know about the "rest of the world".
The Barkeeper infroms him that not only he is blond, but the doorkeeper and the majority of guests. "Do you still want to tell your joke?"
"Not if I have to explain it over and over..."
07 Feb 17
Originally posted by PonderableA blind mans wife realizes her husband has wandered off inside the house .
A blind man Comes into a bar and asks: Do you know the newst blond joke?
The Barkeeper infroms him that not only he is blond, but the doorkeeper and the majority of guests. "Do you still want to tell your joke?"
"Not if I have to explain it over and over..."
She searches from room to room and then finds him in the kitchen ,shaking and visually shocked holding a cheese grater .
" whatever is the matter Arthur " she asked
holding the cheese grater up ,he replied " that's the most horrifying book I have ever read "
Originally posted by PonderableWhat do you call a Brunette standing between two blonds?
A blind man Comes into a bar and asks: Do you know the newst blond joke?
The Barkeeper infroms him that not only he is blond, but the doorkeeper and the majority of guests. "Do you still want to tell your joke?"
"Not if I have to explain it over and over..."
An interpreter. 😵