- Joined
- 10 Dec 06
- Moves
- 8528
01 Jun 07
Originally posted by shortcircuitbegan to giggle at the sight of his arch nemisis stamping the putred doggy doo doo, and just as he was about to leave he slipped on one of the bannana peels he had so diviously placed impailing his left testicle much the way a kabob impails a fine piece of........
collecting the piles of dog feces in his yard and placing them on the porch of his arch enemy and lighting them on fire. Nothing was ever as funny as the time his enemy was stamping out the fire and he suddenly....
01 Jun 07
Originally posted by EinsteinMindAll I needed now was a gun. I searched the house but all I could find was a flare gun. I immediately remembered that a flare gun had a firing pin and could actually fire a shotgun shell. It would not be as neat as a .45, but if I could get close enough, it would be just as lethal.
onion, which i could really use on a cheeseburger right now. I knew that I had a job to do, and a crime to fulfill. Death was my sight, my goal, and all I had to do was implant a .45 bullet in one man's head. It wasn't gonna be easy, but it was a job that needed doing.
01 Jun 07
Originally posted by shortcircuitNow I just needed a shotgun shell. Bob's Bullets & Burgers wasn't that far away. Would he hold my mental health history and felony conviction against me? And would he put double onions on my burger without charging extra?
All I needed now was a gun. I searched the house but all I could find was a flare gun. I immediately remembered that a flare gun had a firing pin and could actually fire a shotgun shell. It would not be as neat as a .45, but if I could get close enough, it would be just as lethal.
01 Jun 07
Originally posted by pawnhandlerIt turned out that neither was true - I got charged for the onions, and nobody asked about my mental health history. I was now free to go on my burger and gunpowder fueled rampage...
Now I just needed a shotgun shell. Bob's Bullets & Burgers wasn't that far away. Would he hold my mental health history and felony conviction against me? And would he put double onions on my burger without charging extra?
02 Jun 07
Originally posted by st00p1dfac3I headed down to the Post Office to see if the new catalogue I had been waiting for had arrived. I knew I could get exactly what I was looking for in the catalogue. As I sifted through the mail I remembered.....
It turned out that neither was true - I got charged for the onions, and nobody asked about my mental health history. I was now free to go on my burger and gunpowder fueled rampage...
02 Jun 07
Originally posted by shortcircuitI would drop her off at z00t's house. By the time she finished drinking all his vodka and playing Strip Chess with him, I'd be done with what I had to do.
I knew she would expect me to pick her up and cart her all around town, but that would completely destroy my plan. Then I realized what I could do.....
02 Jun 07
1 edit
Originally posted by pawnhandlerBut then I'd miss the Strip Chess. Even though my mama's the Preacher's Wife, it's still the most action I'll have gotten...ever...
I would drop her off at z00t's house. By the time she finished drinking all his vodka and playing Strip Chess with him, I'd be done with what I had to do.
Or does that other time count?
http://www.playtheimmortalgame.com/board/showthread.php?threadid=70022
02 Jun 07
Speaking of which, I can't do anylonger. Lost all my fingers and toes playing amputate chess where you lose a digit for every piece you lose. Checkmate is the ultimate amputation but fortunately I can no longer hold that member causing much bladder discomfort. And then I was offered assistance.
03 Jun 07
Originally posted by Evil Pawn 666Darnit. I could only hold the shotgun with one hand. This was going to be waaaaay more complicated than I previously thought. Went over to the man's house. Apparently he wasn't home. There was a note on the fridge. "Honey, just want you to remember I'll be out of town for a week. Shop for what you want, and...do whatever you do when I'm gone. Bill". Frack it! Had to wait another week to get my fulfilling shot in. Ah what the hell. Might as well blow his fridge open while im here. I put a smoke bomb in the fridge, and just as I was walking out the house, it exploded, flinging me onto the lawn as the house went down in a blaze of glory.
Speaking of which, I can't do anylonger. Lost all my fingers and toes playing amputate chess where you lose a digit for every piece you lose. Checkmate is the ultimate amputation but fortunately I can no longer hold that member causing much bladder discomfort. And then I was offered assistance.
"Frack it! I knew that smell meant someone left the gas on!!!!!"
04 Jun 07
Originally posted by EinsteinMindI came to several minutes later, face down in the wet grass, the refrigerator door covering me. Groggy, I made an attempt to rise. At that precise moment, though, the neighborhood thugs roared through the yard in their Delta 88 hoopty, and they ran right over both me and the door. Face, meet dirt. Oh, you've already been introduced?
Darnit. I could only hold the shotgun with one hand. This was going to be waaaaay more complicated than I previously thought. Went over to the man's house. Apparently he wasn't home. There was a note on the fridge. "Honey, just want you to remember I'll be out of town for a week. Shop for what you want, and...do whatever you do when I'm gone. Bill". Fra ...[text shortened]... n a blaze of glory.
"Frack it! I knew that smell meant someone left the gas on!!!!!"