04 Jun 07
Gascraft. Thank God that moron hadn't posted something crappy about one of my friends. Else I would have had to go over to his house too and shoot him. (Yes, I do know where you live, Gascraft.) Anyways, so I walked outside and it started to freakin rain again. "Darn you meteoroligists! You said there wouldn't be any rain." Ruined my faith in the weather forecast. If you can't have any faith in the weather forecast, what can you have faith in?
I picked up my .38 Magnum off my "Wall of Arms" ( a huge wall covered in armaments, such as hand grenades, grenade launchers, rocket launchers, and the like), picked up my trenchcoat and my fedora off the back of my chair, and went out for a walk in the rain. That was the only thing I could trust, that I could have faith in. The Dick Tracy look, and the comfort of a .38 Magnum in my right jacket pocket (because, yes, I am left-handed).
04 Jun 07
Originally posted by EinsteinMindI had barely made it to the front sidewalk when I saw a vision that chilled my blood. I looked for an escape, but it was too late! I tried to reach toward my pocket when ...
Gascraft. Thank God that moron hadn't posted something crappy about one of my friends. Else I would have had to go over to his house too and shoot him. (Yes, I do know where you live, Gascraft.) Anyways, so I walked outside and it started to freakin rain again. "Darn you meteoroligists! You said there wouldn't be any rain." Ruined my faith in the weathe ...[text shortened]... d the comfort of a .38 Magnum in my right jacket pocket (because, yes, I am left-handed).
"You want to buy Girl Scout cookies? We have this new kind? They're really good? They're called Lemon Something."
"Mandy, you're not supposed to say Lemon Something. You're supposed to say the real name."
"But I don't remember the real name. Besides, it's no big deal."
"It IS a big deal. I'm telling Mrs. O'Connell."
04 Jun 07
2 edits
Originally posted by pawnhandlerHoly God. That was bloody close.
I had barely made it to the front sidewalk when I saw a vision that chilled my blood. I looked for an escape, but it was too late! I tried to reach toward my pocket when ...
"You want to buy Girl Scout cookies? We have this new kind? They're really good? They're called Lemon Something."
"Mandy, you're not supposed to say Lemon Something. You' Besides, it's no big deal."
"It IS a big deal. I'm telling Mrs. O'Connell."
I walked towards Mrs. O' Connell's house, but I diverted at the last second, as I started heading downtown. Where, I didn't know. Why...I needed to calm my troubled heart. As the rain poured down faster, culminating in hail, I ran into an alley, shielding myself with a dirty trashcan lid. The hail kept right on punching me, striking against my exposed skin, making me bleed, watching the blood slowly funnel down the storm drain on the muddy street curb at the end of the alley. A man came out of the darkness his face was not visible, but he raised his arm from his side and he was holding...A Glock .45. I had to think fast, so I threw the trashcan lid at him, which caused the gun to go off. It nicked my shoulder, and as I bled profusely from my scapula I painfully withdrew my .38 and attached a silencer...
"Sorry about this, stranger, but you leave me no other option."
I shot him point-blank from a range of no more than 3 feet. The blood splattered upon my lunky, 200-pound frame all over my trenchcoat, as the hail subsided back to rain. His blood mingled with mine as they both flowed towards the storm drain. The blood flowed down my trenchcoat as it washed away to nothing. It was just another man sent by the people who wanted me dead. But I had two murders on my hands that luckily noone knew about. Thank God for the rain. maybe those meteorologists weren't so bad after all. Thank God they were wrong.
04 Jun 07
Originally posted by EinsteinMindthen i made sweet, passionate love to his squirming, dying body from his anal cavity. then out of nowhere a huge mongoose bit off my tallywacker. i was bleeding then i died.
Holy God. That was bloody close.
I walked towards Mrs. O' Connell's house, but I diverted at the last second, as I started heading downtown. Where, I didn't know. Why...I needed to calm my troubled heart. As the rain poured down faster, culminating in hail, I ran into an alley, shielding myself with a dirty trashcan lid. The hail kept right on punchi ...[text shortened]... the rain. maybe those meteorologists weren't so bad after all. Thank God they were wrong.
04 Jun 07
Originally posted by david haworthYes, I died of embarassment from having been drawn back to my dark side of sodomy, and for failing to see that mongoose. I wanted a piece of that mongoose, but I no longer had a tallywacker, so instead I resorted to plan B......
then i made sweet, passionate love to his squirming, dying body from his anal cavity. then out of nowhere a huge mongoose bit off my tallywacker. i was bleeding then i died.
04 Jun 07
1 edit
Originally posted by david haworth(sorry but i thought he lost his tallywacker already playing amputation chess...OMG!!!!!!!!! that is so wrong....unless...he has.................2)🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲
then i made sweet, passionate love to his squirming, dying body from his anal cavity. then out of nowhere a huge mongoose bit off my tallywacker. i was bleeding then i died.
04 Jun 07
Originally posted by EinsteinMindStephen King lends credibility to it.....multiple tallwackers.
(sorry but i thought he lost his tallywacker already playing amputation chess...OMG!!!!!!!!! that is so wrong....unless...he has.................2)🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲🙄😲
04 Jun 07
1 edit
Originally posted by shortcircuitYessirree I wanted a piece of that mongoose, and definitely not in a sexual context. I ran after it, .38 in hand, scaring everyone I ran by. I started to hop on top of a car in rush hour traffic then I hopped from one car top to another bleeding profusely from my groinal area. The rain started washing the blood onto the top of people's cars, and I finally caught up with that mongoose.
Yes, I died of embarassment from having been drawn back to my dark side of sodomy, and for failing to see that mongoose. I wanted a piece of that mongoose, but I no longer had a tallywacker, so instead I resorted to plan B......
"Dangit you, you freaking a$$hole!!!!"
And that's exactly where my bullet went. He turned and started to run, but if he couldn't run 1200 feet per second, that bullet would catch him. It did, in the most unfortunate place possible. It went right up his rear. I picked it up and the bullet...........fell out of his nose.
04 Jun 07
Originally posted by EinsteinMindand then I woke up. The first thing I did was to check and make sure my tallywacker was really still there...
Yessirree I wanted a piece of that mongoose, and definitely not in a sexual context. I ran after it, .38 in hand, scaring everyone I ran by. I started to hop on top of a car in rush hour traffic then I hopped from one car top to another bleeding profusely from my groinal area. The rain started washing the blood onto the top of people's cars, and I final ...[text shortened]... e. It went right up his rear. I picked it up and the bullet...........fell out of his nose.
04 Jun 07
Originally posted by PocketKingsIt was all a dream...none of this had happened at all. It must have been from those re-runs of Dallas I was watching. My heart raced and I had the sweats, but my manhood was still intact.
and then I woke up. The first thing I did was to check and make sure my tallywacker was really still there...
04 Jun 07
Originally posted by shortcircuitThank God for that.
It was all a dream...none of this had happened at all. It must have been from those re-runs of Dallas I was watching. My heart raced and I had the sweats, but my manhood was still intact.
"Holy beejeebas!" I said as a man ran forward and hit me with a flat-bottomed iron pan.
"This'll only hurt for a second."
"It'll be your lifetime,"
I replied as I whipped my Magnum out of my nightstand and shot the moron who hit me.
"Dangit...so...groggy...you ba$tard." I shot him again, just to make sure he was good and dead. Then I took his dead body, hid it in my trunk, and ran towards the window. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining...
"Dammit." I said as my nose started dripping blood onto my new carpet.
That bloody fool actually broke my nose I thought as I ran into the bathroom to get some tissues.
06 Jun 07
Originally posted by EinsteinMindChapter 3
Thank God for that.
"Holy beejeebas!" I said as a man ran forward and hit me with a flat-bottomed iron pan.
"This'll only hurt for a second."
"It'll be your lifetime,"
I replied as I whipped my Magnum out of my nightstand and shot the moron who hit me.
"Dangit...so...groggy...you ba$tard." I shot him again, just to make sure he was goo ...[text shortened]... actually broke my nose[/i] I thought as I ran into the bathroom to get some tissues.
On the way to work I was thinking about one thing, going back to bed. I was almost there when I heard...