10. This God, this Sovereign Master, has issued commandments whose value is independent of time and space, country and race. As God's sun shines on every human face so His law knows neither privilege nor exception. Rulers and subjects, crowned and uncrowned, rich and poor are equally subject to His word. From the fullness of the Creators' right there naturally arises the fullness of His right to be obeyed by individuals and communities, whoever they are. This obedience permeates all branches of activity in which moral values claim harmony with the law of God, and pervades all integration of the ever-changing laws of man into the immutable laws of God.
From the Encyclical "Mit Brennender Sorge" Pius XI 1937
The bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.
The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also.
The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there. The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, also.
The third patron, a redneck, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered. "Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, and the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too.
As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door.
Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.
Jesus walked toward the redneck, and the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me, I'm drawin' disability!"
"Resemblance reproduces the formal aspect of objects, but neglects their spirit; truth shows the spirit and substance in like perfection. He who tries to transmit the spirit by means of the formal aspect and ends by merely obtaining the outward appearance, will produce a dead thing."
Ching Hao, Notes on Brushwork
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory,
being sized up by God.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether
to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society
by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also
created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never
done before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to
go."
Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?" God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it
will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with
clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in
the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the
temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY want
to see heaven!" " Fine," said God, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about,
playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm. I
think I'd prefer Hell," he told God.
"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire
to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill,
shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being
burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment,
"This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago!
I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place,
with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the
water?!???"
"That was only the screen saver," replied God.
Each of the three churches in the community, were been overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Baptist Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were pre-destined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
The Methodist group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creations. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
It was only the Catholics who were able to come up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels........and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
My hut lies in the middle of a dense forest;
Every year the green ivy grows longer.
No news of the affairs of men,
Only the occasional song of a woodcutter.
The sun shines and I mend my robe;
When the moon comes out I read Buddhist poems.
I have nothing to report, my friends.
If you want to find the meaning, stop chasing after
so many things.
—Ryokan (from One Robe, One Bowl: The Zen Poetry of Ryokan, translated by John Stevens).
“The feeling of commiseration is the principle of benevolence. The feeling of shame and dislike is the principle of righteousness. The feeling of modesty and complaisance is the principle of propriety. The feeling of approving and disapproving is the principle of knowledge.
“Men have these four principles just as they have their four limbs. When men having these four principles, yet say of themselves that they cannot develop them, they play the thief with themselves; and he who says of his leader that he cannot develop them, plays the thief with his leader.
“Since all men had these four principles in themselves, let them know to give them their full development and completion, and the result will be like a fire which has begun to burn, or a spring which has begun flow. Let them have their complete development, and they will suffice to love and protect all. Let them be denied that development, and they will not suffice for a man to serve his parents with.”
Mang tsze (370-286 BCE
There was a Pope who was greatly loved by all of his followers, a man who led with gentleness, faith and wisdom. His passing was grieved by the entire world, Catholic or not.
As the Pope approached the gates of heaven, it was Saint Peter who greeted him in a firm embrace. "Welcome your holiness, your dedication and unselfishness in serving your fellow man during your life has earned you great stature in heaven. You may pass through the gates without delay and are granted free access to all parts of heaven."
"You are also granted an open door policy and may at your own discretion meet with any heavenly leader, including the Father without prior appointment."
"Is there anything which your holiness desires?"
"Well, yes," the Pope replied. "I have often pondered some of the mysteries which have puzzled and confounded theologians through the ages.
Are there perhaps any transcripts which recorded the actual conversations between God and the prophets of old? I would love to see what was actually said, with-out the dimming of memories over time."
Saint Peter immediately ushered the Pope to the heavenly library and explained how to retrieve the various documents. The Pope was thrilled and settled down to review the history of man's relationship with God.
Two years later a scream of anguish pierced the stacks of the library. Immediately several of the Saints and Angels came running. There they found the Pope pointing to a single word on a parchment, repeating over and over, "There's an 'R', there's an 'R' -- it's celibRate!"
Originally posted by dale21LOL...
There was a Pope who was greatly loved by all of his followers, a man who led with gentleness, faith and wisdom. His passing was grieved by the entire world, Catholic or not.
As the Pope approached the gates of heaven, it was Saint Peter who greeted him in a firm embrace. "Welcome your holiness, your dedication and unselfishness in serving your fellow man d ...[text shortened]... parchment, repeating over and over, "There's an 'R', there's an 'R' -- it's celibRate!"
" It is vain to ask the gods for what we can procure for ourselves. A blissful and eternal being is not troubled in itself and brings no trouble to any other being. So it is exempt from motives of anger and favor, for every such motive implies weakness."
Dreams have no divine character nor any prophetic power, but they originate from the inflow of sensory images."
Epicurus (342-270 BCE)
Originally posted by dale21
There was a Pope who was greatly loved by all of his followers, a man who led with gentleness, faith and wisdom. His passing was grieved by the entire world, Catholic or not.
As the Pope approached the gates of heaven, it was Saint Peter who greeted him in a firm embrace. "Welcome your holiness, your dedication and unselfishness in serving your fellow man d ...[text shortened]... parchment, repeating over and over, "There's an 'R', there's an 'R' -- it's celibRate!"
You forgot something: http://idiot-dog.com/humor/dead-pope.html
Originally posted by dale21
Each of the three churches in the community, were been overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Baptist Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were pre-destined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
The Methodist group got tog ...[text shortened]... ..and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
You forgot something: http://www.webedelic.com/church/humora.htm
Originally posted by dale21
The bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.
The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also.
...[text shortened]... neck, and the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't touch me, I'm drawin' disability!"
You forgot something: http://www.thehumorarchives.com/humor/0000701.html
Originally posted by dale21
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory,
being sized up by God.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether
to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society
by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also
created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do so ...[text shortened]... tily-clad women playing in the
water?!???"
"That was only the screen saver," replied God.
http://www.maximonline.com/jokes/joke_724.html