The Atheist's Creed, by British journalist Steve Turner
We believe in Marxfreudanddarwin
We believe everything is OK
as long as you don't hurt anyone,
to the best of your definition of hurt,
and to the best of your knowledge.
We believe in sex before, during, and after marriage.
We believe in the therapy of sin.
We believe that adultery is fun.
We believe that sodomy is OK.
We believe that taboos are taboo.
We believe that everything is getting better
despite evidence to the contrary.
The evidence must be investigated
And you can prove anything with evidence.
We believe there's something in
horoscopes, UFO's and bent spoons;
Jesus was a good man
just like Buddha, Mohammed, and ourselves.
He was a good moral teacher
although we think His good morals were bad.
We believe that all religions are basically the same--
at least the one that we read was.
They all believe in love and goodness.
They only differ on matters of
creation, sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation.
We believe that after death comes the Nothing
Because when you ask the dead what happens they say nothing.
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied,
then it's compulsory heaven for all
excepting perhaps Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Khan.
We believe in Masters and Johnson.
What's selected is average.
What's average is normal.
What's normal is good.
We believe in total disarmament.
We believe there are direct links between warfare and bloodshed.
Americans should beat their guns into tractors
and the Russians would be sure to follow.
We believe that man is essentially good.
It's only his behavior that lets him down.
This is the fault of society.
Society is the fault of conditions.
Conditions are the fault of society.
We believe that each man must find the truth that is right for him.
Reality will adapt accordingly.
The universe will readjust.
History will alter.
We believe that there is no absolute truth
excepting the truth that there is no absolute truth.
We believe in the rejection of creeds,
and the flowering of individual thought.
"Chance"-- a post-script
If chance be the Father of all flesh,
disaster is his rainbow in the sky,
and when you hear:
State of Emergency!
Sniper Kills Ten!
Troops on Rampage!
Rioters go Looting!
Bomb Blasts School!
It is but the sound of man worshiping his maker.
Originally posted by Halitose😕
The Atheist's Creed, by British journalist Steve Turner
We believe in Marxfreudanddarwin
We believe everything is OK
as long as you don't hurt anyone,
to the best of your definition of hurt,
and to the best of your knowledge.
We believe in sex before, during, and after marriage.
We believe in the therapy of sin.
We believe that adultery is ...[text shortened]... o Looting!
Bomb Blasts School!
It is but the sound of man worshiping his maker.
As funny as this strawman creed is, it's not nearly as funny as the following traditional English version of a creed that professes beliefs that are correctly and properly attributed:
"I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth.
And in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord; who was conceived by the Holy Ghost, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead, and buried; he descended into hell; the third day he rose again from the dead; he ascended into heaven, and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty; from thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Ghost; the holy catholic Church; the communion of saints; the forgiveness of sins; the resurrection of the body; and the life everlasting. AMEN."
Now that is funny. Alas, from the standpoint of epistemic justification, it's also very sad. :'(
Originally posted by LemonJelloNow that is funny.
😕
As funny as this strawman creed is, it's not nearly as funny as the following traditional English version of a creed that professes beliefs that are correctly and properly attributed:
[i]"I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth.
And in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord; who was conceived by the Holy Ghost, born of th ...[text shortened]... ] is funny. Alas, from the standpoint of epistemic justification, it's also very sad. :'(
I guess the humour was lost on my insipid wit. :'(:'(
Nobody's perfect...
- No1marauder -
Thread 38167 (page 35)
I'm gonna frame this one.
“The world is too much with us: late and soon, getting and spending, we lay waste our powers: little we see in nature that is ours; we have given our hearts away, a sordid boon…For everything, we are out of tune; [if nature] moves us not. Great God! I’d rather be a Pagan [than be without nature].” (Wordsworth)
I just saw the movie Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. I especially liked some of the ravings by Rosencrantz:
"Did you ever think of yourself as actually dead, lying in a box with a lid on it? Nor do I, really. It's silly to be depressed by it. I mean, one thinks of it like being alive in a box. One keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one is dead, which should make all the difference, shouldn't it? I mean, you'd never know you were in a box, would you? It would be just like you were asleep in a box. Not that I'd like to sleep in a box, mind you. Not without any air. You'd wake up dead for a start, and then where would you be? In a box. That's the bit I don't like, frankly. That's why I don't think of it. Because you'd be helpless, wouldn't you? Stuffed in a box like that. I mean, you'd be in there forever, even taking into account the fact that you're dead. It isn't a pleasant thought. Especially if you're dead, really. Ask yourself, if I asked you straight off, 'I'm going to stuff you in this box. Now, would you rather be alive or dead?' naturally, you'd prefer to be alive. Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance, at least. You could lie there thinking, 'Well, at least I'm not dead. In a minute somebody is going to bang on the lid, and tell me to come out.'"
"First the Buddha talked of the ways to calm, the mastery of desire, the path of enlightenment, and the panellists all said, 'Wow, terrific, if that works for you that's great.' Then the Hindu talked of the cycles of suffering and birth and rebirth, the teachings of the Krishna and the way to release, and they all said, 'Wow, terrific, if that works for you that's great.' And so on until the Catholic priest talked of the message of Jesus Christ, the promise of salvation, and the way to eternal life, and they all said, 'Wow, terrific, if that works for you that's great.' And the priest thumped the table and shouted, 'No! It's not a question of if it works for me! It's the true word of the living God, and if you don't believe it, then you're all damned to hell!' And they all said 'Wow, terrific, if that works for you that's great.'"
--From Being Good, by Simon Blackburn
Originally posted by Bosse de NageNice. That reminds me that there is but one sign hanging from my horse's ass as I head westward:
[b]Tombeau pour LemonJello
You grabbed
Euryphro's dilemma
by the horns
and rode off
into the un
compromising sunset[/b]
"Kabir says this: just throw away all thoughts of
imaginary things,
and stand firm in that which you are."
--Kabir Sahib
Take care, BdN.
P.S. Bruno lives.
The test of observance of external religious teachings is whether or not our conduct conforms to their decrees [observe the Sabbath; tithe; don’t murder]. Such conformity is indeed possible.
The test of observance of Christ’s teachings is our consciousness of our failure to attain an ideal perfection. The degree to which we draw near this perfection cannot be seen; all we can see is the extent of our deviation.
A man who professes an external law is like someone standing in the light of a lantern fixed to a post. It is light all around him, but there is nowhere further for him to walk. A man who professes the teaching of Christ is like a man carrying a lantern before him on a long, or not so long, pole: the light is in front of him, always lighting up fresh ground and always encouraging him to walk farther.
-Leo Tolstoy-
"If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul."
Isaac Asimov