Corrupt-A-Wish

Originally posted by beatlemania
Congrats! You given now given 2 billion life jackets by the farty godmother, not 1,788,772,220 life jackets because she's too lazy to be that specific. Anyways, the farty godmother and all of her other fairy tale friends aka; santa, the easter bunny, cupid and all the others are bored, so Father Time ( being the most bored because he's existed forever) ...[text shortened]... ed by 2 billion....you guessed it!....death jackets.

I wish I had a bag of potato chips.

You have a bag of potato chips, but the farty godmother has poisoned them with... you'll never guess... 2 billion mini-life jackets! They are soooooo tiny you can't see them, and the death jackets slowly eat your insides to death while you are in excruciating pain from something, but you don't know why.

I wish I had a wish that had a wish that wad a wish that had a wish that had a dream and that dream was to open a haberdashery which would have a dream to open a bakery which had a dream to be a brain surgeon which was to lazy to have a dream.

Originally posted by Acemaster
You have a bag of potato chips, but the farty godmother has poisoned them with... you'll never guess... 2 billion mini-life jackets! They are soooooo tiny you can't see them, and the death jackets slowly eat your insides to death while you are in excruciating pain from something, but you don't know why.

I wish I had a wish that had a wish that wad a wis ...[text shortened]... m to open a bakery which had a dream to be a brain surgeon which was to lazy to have a dream.

Congrats! You have a wish that had a wish that wad a wish that had a wish that had a dream and that dream was to open a haberdashery which would have a dream to open a bakery which had a dream to be a brain surgeon which was to lazy to have a dream.

However, haberdashey goes bankrupt, the bakery is closed down because appartrently you were shipping out drugs inside the cakes and other baked goods, and the brain surgeon was was sued for all he owned because one day he slipped and became a dentist. So all that's left is.... that's right! you, a lazy couch potato.

I wish that I had 34 clothspins.

Originally posted by beatlemania
Congrats! You have a wish that had a wish that wad a wish that had a wish that had a dream and that dream was to open a haberdashery which would have a dream to open a bakery which had a dream to be a brain surgeon which was to lazy to have a dream.

However, haberdashey goes bankrupt, the bakery is closed down because appartrently you were shipping ...[text shortened]... that's left is.... that's right! you, a lazy couch potato.

I wish that I had 34 clothspins.

Granted, unfortunately, the 34 clothespins have been used to attach you to the back of a bus. You shall now be dragged to your death in most horrific manner.

I wish I had 34 asian massage parlor workers to massage my giant balls.

Originally posted by dryhump
Granted, unfortunately, the 34 clothespins have been used to attach you to the back of a bus. You shall now be dragged to your death in most horrific manner.

I wish I had 34 asian massage parlor workers to massage my giant balls.

Granted! However they all turned into cannabalistic samurais and begin to dice up your huge nuts while you're still alive. After they're done with that (and they leave you to sit there screaming pain for a while....such cruel women) they kill you and eat you.

I wish I had a 2-liter of Coca cola and 3 birthday cakes.

Originally posted by beatlemania
Granted! However they all turned into cannabalistic samurais and begin to dice up your huge nuts while you're still alive. After they're done with that (and they leave you to sit there screaming pain for a while....such cruel women) they kill you and eat you.

I wish I had a 2-liter of Coca cola and 3 birthday cakes.

Bingo! You have a two litre bottle of coca-cola and three birthday cakes. Sadly, you are at a birthday party being thrown for triplets and you are dressed in a shabby trench coat and nothing more. Enjoy your lengthy stay at the correctional facility.

I wish I had the DVD collection of the original Twilight Zone series.

Originally posted by Fleabitten
Bingo! You have a two litre bottle of coca-cola and three birthday cakes. Sadly, you are at a birthday party being thrown for triplets and you are dressed in a shabby trench coat and nothing more. Enjoy your lengthy stay at the correctional facility.

I wish I had the DVD collection of the original Twilight Zone series.

Granted! You bought them off of eBay however, and when you receive them, not only do you discover that they are completely scratched to the point of uselessness, you also discover that they are bootlegs. A viewing of the listing shows that the location says Hong Kong, Hong Kong. Hope you didn't paid much for them.

I wish that I had the new DSI handheld gaming system that's coming out soon.

Originally posted by beatlemania
Granted! You bought them off of eBay however, and when you receive them, not only do you discover that they are completely scratched to the point of uselessness, you also discover that they are bootlegs. A viewing of the listing shows that the location says Hong Kong, Hong Kong. Hope you didn't paid much for them.

I wish that I had the new DSI handheld gaming system that's coming out soon.

ZAP!!!!! You have that brand new gaming system. Only problem is you never get laid because you are playing it all the time. You now become a fat pathetic loser, all because of your gaming system.

I wish I had a fur coat made out of polar bear skin.

Originally posted by dryhump
ZAP!!!!! You have that brand new gaming system. Only problem is you never get laid because you are playing it all the time. You now become a fat pathetic loser, all because of your gaming system.

I wish I had a fur coat made out of polar bear skin.

You get the fur coat made out of polar bear skin for your birthday, only to realize the polar bear is still alive in its skin - and not a bit happy.

I wish I had bionic toes that helped me leap onto buildings.

Originally posted by Traveling Again
You get the fur coat made out of polar bear skin for your birthday, only to realize the polar bear is still alive in its skin - and not a bit happy.

I wish I had bionic toes that helped me leap onto buildings.

Congrats! You now have bionic toes! However soon afterwards, you get diabetes and all of your bionic toes fall off.

I wish I could program movies.

Originally posted by beatlemania
Congrats! You now have bionic toes! However soon afterwards, you get diabetes and all of your bionic toes fall off.

I wish I could program movies.

You are now so good at programming movies you made a movie about an Avatar and here it is - look left... 😉

I wish I could get some advice about what to do with a wish that's coming my way.

Originally posted by mikelom
You are now so good at programming movies you made a movie about an Avatar and here it is - look left... 😉

I wish I could get some advice about what to do with a wish that's coming my way.

Your mother comes by and tell you that you should wish you were dead. Loving your mother, you make sure the wish comes true yourself, committing suicide in front of her.

I wish Russ had the highest rating of any player on RHP.

Originally posted by Elias5891
Your mother comes by and tell you that you should wish you were dead. Loving your mother, you make sure the wish comes true yourself, committing suicide in front of her.

I wish Russ had the highest rating of any player on RHP.

Granted! Russ is the best of all of us, however he seems to enjoy whipping you repeatedly over the board to the point that you kill yourself.

I wish that I had a Fendora, that's a hat by the way.

Originally posted by beatlemania
Granted! Russ is the best of all of us, however he seems to enjoy whipping you repeatedly over the board to the point that you kill yourself.

I wish that I had a Fendora, that's a hat by the way.

Suddenly, on your head is a Fedora...close enough. Unfortunately, after wearing it, people confuse you for Indiana Jones, and send you to Africa, where the many traps of a ex-Nazi cave kill you in many ways at once.

I wish the video game character Samus was real, and in love with me.

Originally posted by Elias5891
Suddenly, on your head is a Fedora...close enough. Unfortunately, after wearing it, people confuse you for Indiana Jones, and send you to Africa, where the many traps of a ex-Nazi cave kill you in many ways at once.

I wish the video game character Samus was real, and in love with me.

Poof! The real life Samus is in love with you and only you, however since Samus left the video game, they needed a replacement and you seemed to be the best pick, so poof! You are suddenly in the video game and after she ( I'm assuming that Samus is a girl.....awkward) finally figures out how to how to turn on the turn screen so that you can see each other but not any thing else. After about 2 weeks of this your next door neighbor comes over, assuming and half hoping to find your dead body lying somewhere (he always did like your collection of model trains) he enters the TV room and finds you stuck in the television and this really hot woman sitting there all by her lonesome. Throwing caution (and his clothes) to the wind, the two of them begin to make hot, passionate love right in front of you in YOUR living room on YOUR new $10,000 imported Italian leather couch. After you try to ignore this for about half an hour, you can't take it anymore and try to kill yourself by smashing your head into the wall, only to remember that you just got the invincibility cheat code 10 minutes before all of this happened. This causes you to go as insane as the video game dimension will allow for the rest of your eternal miserable existence.

I wish I wasn't so lazy.

Originally posted by beatlemania
I wish I wasn't so lazy.

Granted! You now work very hard. After a few weeks, you realise that you have been working on something completely meaningless, and all your work has been futile.

I wish I knew what to wish for.