Ivory Tower Class

It has been suggested by Pradtf that I devote some time and attention to the problem of degrading images for women that serve as role models for our children. I was sitting with my youngest child the other day watching a "kids" show that definitely had adult undertones to it. The girls (ages 7-10) were provocatively dressed and had a definite grown up, pouty, in your face attitude. The boys were basically stereotyped to be stupid so they could be pushed around by these girls. I am afraid that most parents looking at that would not see anything wrong with it. My point is that these kinds of messages and images are deeply ingrained in our culture. It doesn't have to be MTV videos. It is much more pervasive than that. What is the result of these kinds of messages? Children lose their childhood. They grow up too fast. They are encouraged to enter the land of behaving like an adult. Children who do not experience a fulfilling and meaningful playful childhood will have serious problems when they enter young adulthood.

Unfortunately we have a culture of young girls who believe that dressing and acting like Britany Spears is "cool." And worse, we have a culture of parents who are too lazy to go up against that. I recently saw a program where Britany Spears was giving "relationship advice." Are you beginning to see how ingrained this problem is? It is so much of a problem that few know it is a problem.

I will have more on this later as we talk about healthy self image and children.

Let's continue with self-image and the problems with it in our society. It would be like saying the sun came up this morning to say there are problems with self images in our society. From anorexia to morbid obesity, it is a problem that has life-long consequences. Many parents unknowingly participate in this problem by being weight-focused. They may put themselves down about their weight in front of their children. Kids pay attention to that kind of stuff. Regrettably some children may go to church and hear that "the body is bad and sinful." Those messages leave untold scars on children.

As you know children can be somewhat cruel about these things with sayings like "fatty fatty two by four couldn't get through the kitchen door." Kids get emotionally hurt they use food to insulate themselves from feelings. Eating equals comfort and maybe freedom from pain.
Whenever I go see someone and they weigh 300 lbs and up (and yes I see some in the 500+ range) I know that that did not happen overnight. That is likely someone who early on in life was full of emotional pain. They were a kid that had self-image problems that were never dealt with.

We're going to talk more about this as it is such an important thing in healthy child development. If any of you have any personal stories, feel free to share.

Originally posted by kirksey957
Eating equals comfort and maybe freedom from pain.

Originally posted by colleman
You know Kirksey, I hate to disagree with you, so I won't! Everything you say is true but it is not the whole picture; it has to be put in context.

There are also people who are plain greedy, who have no emotionaly unstable background.

There are also those who eat the 'wrong' kind of diet. I see fat kids, I invariably see fat parents.

I just think it is important to state the whole case.

Dave

🙂

I'd like to post something thats important when you have kids. Its called patience. And believe me, when your kid is my age you're going to need it.

For example:

I tease my dad all the time and he does the same with me. Sometimes he wants to use the computer and I mouth off and say no. But he's a great dad and he lets me take my time. He hardly ever objects and he seems kinda happy that I'm making friends and learning how to play chess better.

Originally posted by Remora91
I'd like to post something thats important when you have kids. Its called patience. And believe me, when your kid is my age you're going to need it.

For example:

I tease my dad all the time and he does the same with me. Sometimes he wants to use the computer and I mouth off and say no. But he's a great dad and he lets me take my time. He hardly eve ...[text shortened]... objects and he seems kinda happy that I'm making friends and learning how to play chess better.

And you all thought I was takin my summa vacation. Take ya seats, class. More learnin' fo today. Today I want to use a movie to illustrate some concepts to ya. Tha movie is "The Black Stallion". What, Ivanhoe? Is this a porn movie starring Cribs? O my Lawd, some days I'm just tempted to give it all up. No, this isn't a movie starring or about Cribs.

It's about a little boy and his relationship with this horse in which they learn the bonds of relationship. The little boy has lost his father in a ship wreck and the boy and the stallion end up on this island. In a way, both are untamed. The boy helps "free" the horse and the horse saves the boy from a snake. Have I told you all about snakes yet? Ok, good, stay away. That's right, RB, they be evil. Anyway they are rescued and the boy brings the horse home as his pet. They do all kinds of cute thangs like sleepin together in the yard and all. But each one has mo potential and each one of em is gonna help the otha bring it out.

OK, two otha themes in da movie that are archetypes for healthy development. The boy has lost his daddy. He finds another. In dis movie it be the horse trainer who kind of adopts him and helps him to ride this big ole horse. It is a very normal part of child development for a child to seek out another parental figure to bond with. Don't go gettin all scared that they rejectin ya. That ain't the case. Maybe you had an uncle or a youth minister or someone like dat who kinda brought ya out. All that's good and healthy.

The otha theme is a boy must "steal tha key" from his motha's pillow. Now what's dat mean? It means that the boy must challenge his motha to pursue his dreams. In dis here movie tha motha is played by Terry Garr. Oh my goodness, we gonna look at da Oedipus complex at anotha time, but see she don't want him to ride in a race wit dat horse, but the boy insists. He knows he's followin' a "higher callin" fo all you spiritually inclined people. She be scared he gonna hurt himself. Who ain't tried to convince their parents to let em do somethang a little risky. It's all a balance of providin safety, but not protectin the child from whatever they can accomplish.

Now accordin to Professa Erik Erikson dis here would be yo state of "Industry vs. Inferiority." Children need to have a sense of accomplishment with they hands. In dis here movie the boy learns how to masta dis here horse wit his hands. It's a beautiful thang to see a child come into their fullness dis way. If day don't, they grow up feelin all inferior like they can't ever do nuttin' right. Ya dig?

OK, ya homework is all of ya going down to da video store and rent dat der movie and ya gonna be thankin me lata today. I want some class participation. Mid-terms a comin and I be handin out grades real soon. Have a nice day.

OK, I was painting my house and some more thoughts came to me about this topic. That's right, I was painting because I have a tremendous work ethic. Where I live there is a culture of inferiority that takes on the role of applying for disability. "Doctor, I've got back pain and I can't work." Or, this is a good one, "Doctor, I'm a slow learner and I need disability." BS, Complete BS. I know there are people who are legitimately disabled, but you get someone who can work and they weasel the system to get disability, their dignity goes out the window. One thang I like about old people is that they want to work. When they retire they miss work. Everybody needs a sense of "industry."


President Cribs, I know you have a tremendous work ethic, and I would like to hear you weigh in on this lesson.

(Everybody see how hard I be workin at gettin tenure).

Originally posted by kirksey957
OK, I was painting my house and some more thoughts came to me about this topic. That's right, I was painting because I have a tremendous work ethic. Where I live there is a culture of inferiority that takes on the role of applying fo ...[text shortened]... lesson.

(Everybody see how hard I be workin at gettin tenure).

OK, I gotta little review quiz to help with ya mid-term. Most are true or false. Should be an easy one that will review all of our lessons. See how you do.

1) Oprah is to ocra as Chiquita is to ___________.
Correct answer is banana.

2) Breastfeeding is good for the baby.
Obviously True

3) A hybrid chow and pitbull would make a good pet for a baby.
False

4) Pick out the normal name: T'rece, Orenthal, Mary
Mary would be correct

5) Yes, Woody Allen would make a good baby-sitter for your asian child.
False

6) A minivan is absolutely essential to good parenting.
False

7) Children need to play.
True

8) Reading promotes intelligence>
True

9) Communication is essential for good parenting.
True

10) Parents need to acknowledge their limitations.
True

11) Children are expensive.
True

12) Men should be prepared for mood swings of their partners.
True

13) Cloth diapers are a good thing.
False. OK, you don't believe me. Find out yourself.

OK, how'd ya do?

Originally posted by kirksey957
OK, I gotta little review quiz to help with ya mid-term. Most are true or false. Should be an easy one that will review all of our lessons. See how you do.

1) Oprah is to ocra as Chiquita is to ___________.
Correct answer is banana.

2) Breastfeeding is good for the baby.
Obviously True

3) A hybrid chow and pitbull would make a good pet for a ...[text shortened]... s are a good thing.
False. OK, you don't believe me. Find out yourself.

OK, how'd ya do?

OK, back to class, ya lazy foolz. Thought I retired , didn't ya? Your "F" is in da mail. OK, new topic by special request. Boundaries. Boundaries are essential to good parentin. Boundaries be like a container dat hold it all together. But at da same time day be real tricky as they gotsta be fluid at times. Here are some examples of good boundaries. Keepin a reasonable bedtime. Eatin meals together, which I might add is very important to good grades. Keepin up on da homework. Parents checkin da homework. Gettin ta school on time. It's all about bein responsible. OK, lets look at da dark side of dem boundaries. Da world aint perfect, so cut ya kid some slack if day miss curfew by 30 seconds. Da bird aint worth tha shot. Ya know what I mean. If ya kid keeps der door shut, no big deal. Day need a little privacy. OK< real life example from da yet to be tenured professa. I'm in a chat room and some fool makin D's in math is axing ma kid about her boyfriend. What do I do? I get da hell out immediately. I don't eves drop. Dat aint cool. See how I respected my kid's space and boundaries? Now what be real hard is da older day get , the harder it be as they be branchin out and all. Dat's usually da time when parents get all hooked on valium and stuff like dat. Ya just gotta go wit da flow and realize dat if ya mastered da first lessons here ya gonna be OK down da road.

OK, class what have we learned today? Boundaries be essential, correct! And ta chill. Fo ya homework today, I want everyone of ya to drink a glass a water without a containa of any type. O, you say, "Hey, Professa K, How I be do dat?" Foolz, dats da point! Ya need boundaries. Know what I'm sayin?

Originally posted by kirksey957
OK, I gotta little review quiz to help with ya mid-term. Most are true or false. Should be an easy one that will review all of our lessons. See how you do.

1) Oprah is to ocra as Chiquita is to ___________.
Correct answer is banana.

2) Breastfeeding is good for the baby.
Obviously True

3) A hybrid chow and pitbull would make a good pet for a ...[text shortened]... s are a good thing.
False. OK, you don't believe me. Find out yourself.

OK, how'd ya do?

Originally posted by shavixmir
What's ocra?

Exciting news from the Ivory Tower class. As you know education may take place in any area and in any field and at any time. When I have finished handing out all the "f's" I can on this parenting class, I will pursue a new form of intellectual stimulation that also relates to learning and life. I, Professa K-dawg, still waiting upon tenure, will write a weekly movie review that has much relevance to life. Don't expect Siskel and Ebert. Siskel is dead and I don't know about Ebert, but you gonna get a lot of truth and a lot of fun from me and I may save ya a couple of dollas keepin ya from terrible movies. We gonna do old ones and new ones as well. First up, in honor of the Olympic home, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."