Originally posted by CribsDr., Porfessor Cribs, I read that and it was almost like hearin' the words from Isaiah, "Here, I am Lord, send me". It's almost like a second miracle in a week. I just re-read his post and I gotta say that it put every other religious post to shame. Humility before the Lord. Ain't much of that around here. Ya dig?
Praise God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth!
You are our man! Request membership and you
will be appointed to the position of
Professor of Practical Theology
Dr. Cribs
Originally posted by kirksey957Praise Jesus! I'm movin' to tha back of tha Bible Bus, cuz
Dr., Porfessor Cribs, I read that and it was almost like hearin' the words from Isaiah, "Here, I am Lord, send me". It's almost like a second miracle in a week. I just re-read his post and I gotta say that it put every other religi ...[text shortened]... umility before the Lord. Ain't much of that around here. Ya dig?
ThaSkippa be drivin' it now! What a perfect fulfillment of
the promise - ThaSkippa, sent to drive tha Bible Bus 'round
tha forums, get everybody on board, and take us home
safely to tha promised land!
Originally posted by kirksey957With all tha Spiritual action lettin' loose up in here these days,
Kahla shabaahla keemo Sabe bula bula me so hornay kabala kuba.
Whoa, what just happened to me? I must have been filled with the Spirit. Anyway, praise Jesus!
tha Slow Pawn might get his wish and we all might start
speakin' in tongues!
Where are RB and ivan to give witness?
Pass tha collection plate! I need to buy me some champagne to celebrate!
Originally posted by CribsBeing it's sacramental champagne it's all good, as they say.
With all tha Spiritual action lettin' loose up in here these days,
tha Slow Pawn might get his wish and we all might start
speakin' in tongues!
Where are RB and ivan to give witness?
Pass tha collection plate! I need to buy me some champagne to celebrate!
Originally posted by CribsYo, I have some of that sparkling stuff too, nothing better then tasting those sweet grapes ... Damn shame I stand firm to the M&M brotherhood here at RHP, as I'd loved to have joined your cause guys... Anyway, keep it up and I get back to my books of learning the dialects here, no wot I sayin?
With all tha Spiritual action lettin' loose up in here these days,
tha Slow Pawn might get his wish and we all might start
speakin' in tongues!
Where are RB and ivan to give witness?
Pass tha collection plate! I need to buy me some champagne to celebrate!
It seems that which had been foretold has come to pass. I'm honored to be a part of the future of the RHP forums. As it is with death, my lessons will come unexpectedly. Take care to keep a watchful eye on the Ivory Tower thread for the 1st lesson in theological humility.
Thank you for this opportunity,
😉
TheSkipper
Dear kirks & Cribs,
I just got back from a bike ride with my kids, my oldest was riding her bike and I of course on mine pulling a bike trailer with the other two in it. We were going to my oldest daughters socker game; upon arival her team was leaving the field; I asked her coach if something had changed with the time and we were not notified. He told me that it had not changed. Well, long story short, my wife told me the wrong time, and it was a 15 mile round trip, with the two in the trailer screaming and fighting the whole way.
Should I be angry?
signed,
pooped pop.
Originally posted by rapalla7OH my goodness gracious. Dr. Cribs, we got us some serious advice seekin in here on da theme of marital discord. First up, you younga fellas pay atttention cuz dis brotha just spoke a deep truh about the way it is. You get ya a bunch of kids and what's the first thang that goes out the window? No, RB, it ain't her wieght! We here to support tha ladies. It's communication, foolz. Alot be riden on communication. And can be real important like if she ax you to go get the kid outta da car on a hot summa day. You betta heard dat right.
Dear kirks & Cribs,
I just got back from a bike ride with my kids, my oldest was riding her bike and I of course on mine pulling a bike trailer with the other two in it. We were going to my oldest daughters socker game; upon arival her team was leaving the field; I asked her coach if something had changed with the time and we were not notified. He told ...[text shortened]... the trailer screaming and fighting the whole way.
Should I be angry?
signed,
pooped pop.
OK, what we gonna do to help our brotha out here? First of all I admire ya style tryin to stay healthy and all. Secondly, you a straight up parent participatin (oh there's that word again... makes me shake) wit da kids. Here's what I'd do. I believe Dr. CRibs back me up on dis one, but I'd work da system. She gotta be convinced she screwed up and owe ya something. Ya don't want to be all mean and vindictive. But she owe you an amends of some sort. So what you want from da ladie? What gonna make it right fo ya? Maybe you wanna get in dat traila wit a bull whip and have her peddle yo sorry ass around. Ya dig. Cribs he probably do somethang like that and all. Maybe it be somethang ya both might have some fun wit, but maybe you don't do too often. Ya feelin my style right now? Good, I knew you would as you being so smart and all.
OK, class, today as part of Parenting 145 we gonna take a field trip to da Animal Planet. That's right. We talkin about pets. Everybody knows kids just love animals and day want every damn animal in da world. They think a ladybug is a pet and wanna bring it in the home. That's kids fo ya. Today we gonna look at some good pets and we gonna look at some bad pets. It don't mean day bad animals...well some of em is, but let's just say Steve Irwin he get kicked out quick in this here class. Can you believe a woman ever had sex wit dat man?
Anyway, let's gets to it. As I have said ova and ova and ova, the cat has got to go. Had me one that used my little girl as a scratchin post. I tried to get rid of dat cat, but everybody cried and cried. "Oh , daddy, don't, we love her." Guess what happened. Cat still think she's a scratchin post. So next step we take tha cat out to dis farm in tha winter time and give her to some nice people. Oh next day big ole blizzad come. Everybody cryin, "Oh, daddy she freezin to death!" They go out there behind my back and bring that thang home. That cat he thawed out in a couple of days and he behaved like he learned somethang. He didn't. So I gets me a new plan. I gets me dis here cute little border collie dat's basically a damn genius, but hyper-active as all get out. See how smart I was. Kids lovin me for cute dog and cat hatin my guts that this here dog gonna torment her to death. Let's just say that right now that dog is sittin beside me all obedient and I ain't no idea in hell where dat cat be. But don't lose track of a simple thang in my story. My wife and me won't together on that and it created all kinds of chaos. She call me from work and ask if I like a little pussy. You know what I thinkin and then she show up wit a cat.
OK, let's move on. A dog. Not all dogs is created equal. Most of em aim to please unlike a cat. You can't hardly go wrong say wit yo basic lab or golden retrieva. Day pretty smart too. You see a dog look like it got a chow somewhere in der, you run away. OK, fellas let's use some common sense. Don't get ya kid a pit bull. Day all cute as a puppy but then John Wayne Gacy was a cute baby. And don't get no dog wit pit bull in it. I personally find little dogs almost as bad as cats. I go visitin homes all tha time kind of like a UPS man and what stirs such fear in me is that little chihuahua dog. You know "Yo Quiro Taco Bell." Neva trust em. Now ya doberman he be gettin a bad rap over time, but let me tell ya, every dog got a purpose. You got a lot of like Jehovah Witnesses.....RB, you betta pay attention to this part! You got a lot of Jehovah witnesses comin around, you find you have less wit a doberman. Some breeds ain't what day used to be. Like a cocker spaniel. Days all cute and all, but they've had the brains just bred right out of em. You get one of those and you find you can never have eye contact wit it or it will pee all ova da place.
OK, folks, let's talk about da "stupid zone." Which one of you foolz gonna get a reticulated python for ya baby ta play with. You come home one day and look at dat snake thinkin "Hey honey, I think the snake he may be constipated." Yea, he ain't constipated and you don't need a minivan no mo. Get tha picture?
Birdz. Birdz belong in tha wild. You wanna be in prison? Then don't ax a bird to be der either. Birds emit dust and feathas too. Dat's why you hear da expression "dirty bird." Don't you have enough new dirt wit a baby?
Hamsters. Day all cute and kids love em. They like a sweet rat. Day don't cost much and dats good. Tha other thang is day don't live long eitha and dats good.
But here be tha thang. Any kind a pet ya get is there for two reasons and 2 reasons only. Numba 1: to teach responsibility. They gotta learn to feed and clean and all dat. Let me tell ya, it be easy when they want em. Gotta stay on dem about it I promise ya. Numba 2: Healthy attachment. Yea, to experience love- given and receiven. And dat's it.
Parenting 200: Consistent Parenting
As you may recall, young Shavixmer requested a class on consistent parenting. This is going to be an important one because all parents struggle with this one. There are a couple of reasons we ALL struggle with consistent parenting. Number 1: We never got consistent parenting ourselves. We can only give what we were given. Number 2: We think our kid won't love us if we say "no." Nothing could be further from the truth.
Here's a revolutionary idea for you. Kids WANT you to be consistent with them. They not only need you to say "no" at times , but they also want you to say no. Now they are kids and don't even know that, but if you don't parent consistently all you're doing is making an adult who is going to be what I call a "highchair tyrant." A highchair tyrant is somebody who thinks they are entitled to everything. Know anybody like that? Not a pretty site is it.
Kids are ingenious. They know how to work it. Don't get what they want from daddy they will go to momma. Parents don't work together when they say things like "Go ask your mother." Take a stand. Make it stick.
Another form of inconsistent parenting is always saying "no" to a kid. You do that all the time, you'll end up with a kid who always sees the glass as half empty. Kids need information about why you are saying yes or no. They may not like your reasoning, but you must remember one thing. YOU are the parent.
OK, real life example:
Daughter: Daddy, can we get a chinchilla?
Me: No
Daughter: Why?
Me: We already have a bunch of pets. We have 3 dogs and 5 hamsters and I kind of think we are at our limit with animals.
Daughter: I"ll pay for it myself.
Me: It's not about money. It's that we already have enough pets.
Daughter: Mom, can we have a chinchilla?
Wife: Dad is right. We don't need another pet right now. Plus the dog would eat it.
OK, did you observe the two most important things in that conversation? They were consistency, information and parental unification. Make that three things.
Another thing you have take into consideration is the topic of consequences. If a child doesnt do their chore, what is in place to give them an incentive to finish? Is it a punishment or a reward? You can use both. Rewards (this is obvious ) are for those chores that are finished and done well. Consequences for chores left undone. You've got to follow through. If you don't, you've just weakened your parenting authority.
A lot of parents try to increase their parenting authority by indulging the child with frivolous gifts. The crazy thinking is that if I don't give them everything they won't love me. Nonsense! Parents who do that are simply living out their own insecurity. Are they not being the child instead of being the parent?
OK, I"m sure there are some parents out there who have some stories to share around this topic.
I'd like to expand some on the idea that we must aim for perfect consistency but understand we won't reach it. Don't ever dare think yourself equal to the task of parenting. It is bigger than you are. Don't let that be an excuse not to try your hardest to be a perfect parent, but realize from the start that you will make mistakes and be prepared to admit them when they happen.
This has an enormous impact on consistency. And we must in this area, as in all other aspects of parenting, admit our imperfection. You will be inconsistent at times. The trick is to minimize the inconsistency to the best of your ability.
Here's an example where admitting our mistake resulted in a necessary inconsistency:
Our son, nearly 2 and 1/2 years old, was not eating much of his dinners. He would get a balanced meal but usually only eat the bread. We urged him to eat other stuff and took some mild disciplinary measures at times. Finally one night we decided to buckle down and make him eat. Experienced parents of toddlers probably know roughly where this is going.
It was a horrible battle, and I won't go into details. At the end, he still didn't eat his dinner and everyone had a terrible night. So my wife did some research on the web while I was at work the next day. It turns out that putting our feet down and demanding that he eat is well-known as a wrong strategy. Better, at his age, to make a balanced meal available, praise his decisions to eat variety, and trust in his body's ability to signal through his appetite what nutrients it needs. We also cut down on snacking in order to increase his appetite at meal times.
To make a long story short, the next day we completely reversed our strategy. Complete and utter inconsistency from one day to the next. But it was necessary to admit that we had made a mistake and rectify it.
Smaller examples of inconsistency will happen too. Breaking a rule when I'm in a good mood might lead to milder discipline than breaking it when I'm in a bad mood. This shouldn't be, but it happens sometimes. Even a mild discrepancy in the intensity of discipline (eg, a slight variance in my tone of voice) is detectable by a child and is an undesirable inconsistency. As always, I try my best to avoid or minimize the inconsistency, but I admit that it happens and I don't let it frustrate me from striving for perfect consistency.
I guess I've focussed more on disciplinary consistency, while Kirksey's lessen was about consistency in general. However, disciplinary consistency is a critical, perhaps even the most critical, type of consistency in parenting.
In short, try your best to be consistent. But when you fail (you will), don't freak out over it. Admit your mistakes, learn from them, and continue doing your best.