Jokes

@ghost-of-a-duke said
I returned my lizard to the pet store today as it wouldn't stop telling me jokes.

The store clerk said "that isn't a lizard, it is a stand up chameleon."

@shallow-blue said
Be grateful it wasn't Buddhist, it would keep singing 1980s songs at you.

I know a midget who needs a job.
He's struggling to put food on the table.

What Asian stereo type do you hear most?
Personally I have a Yamaha surround-sound system.

My doctor has advised me to stop drinking - it’s going to be a massive change for me.

I've been with that doctor for 15 years.

@ghost-of-a-duke said
Ha!

I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes...

It's only a draft at the moment.

@the-gravedigger said
I have a friend who might be able to help. She is called Gale.

@moonbus said
We’ll blow me down! I knew that gal, too! She sure breezed in and out of my life like a zephyr.

@the-gravedigger said
We had a stormy relationship.

Why did Thor lose his lightning powers?


Because Odin grounded him.

@the-gravedigger said
I have a friend who might be able to help. She is called Gale.

@badradger said
Guaranteed to blow your mind

@divegeester said
Haha!

@pieceout said
I don’t get it. I must have mist something

We’ve just found out that my uncle is addicted to Viagra, no one is taking it harder than me.