Limerick Competition

@sonhouse said
The more I think about Trump
the more my heart goes jump
The things that he said
would raise up the dead
and fall back in one ugly lump

Anyone got one for Barr or Stone?

Contemporary Culture

There was a Young lady from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She cleaned up her rhymes
To move with the times
And now she is thought more appealing

A limerick from Limerick

There was a young lady from Limerick
To be sure she was some kind of idiot
She slept in a bath
Built a life size giraffe
And ate honey bees just for the heck of it.

Warning - Sad Limerick

She had lost her love, her one and only,
wandered their house feeling lonely.
left his slippers on the stair,
as though he was still there,
till death us do part, matrimony.

@petewxyz

Good one!

Courage

There once was a man from Zaire
Who after his third pint of beer
Felt so full of power
He hopped up a tower
And balanced on top without fear

i decided to be a bit dirty
i lymricked just a tad flirty
but on redhotpawn
i'll soon be gone
so i'm back to just wearing my skirty

The consumption of footwear

I've never quite eaten a shoe,
I tried but it tasted of poo.
I finished a clog,
was a bit of a slog,
once nibbled a sandal, have you?

@Ghost-of-a-Duke

That explains a LOT!

(Knobbly Knobbly Knobbly)

Modern day footballers

Watching football can be trying
Some players can't stop themselves diving
Stay on your feet
Just hit the ball sweet
Oh good grief! Now the poor lamb's crying

There was a young man from Cork,
Everyone thought him a dork,
He crossed a fork with a spoon,
Look, they cried, it’s a foon,
Tut tut, said he, tis a spork.

There was a milkmaid named Maisy,
Who was as cute as a daisy,
They woke her five,
But it just wouldn’t jive,
And now she is known as Lazy.

Skewered

There was a dismissive old knob
Who suddenly craved a kebab.
He went down to the shop,
Which he disparaged nonstop,
And he died at the hands of a mob.

@kewpie said
How about a new last line:

And he ended up robbing a bank.

@indonesia-phil said
Another fine solution to my poetic problem, thanks.

Anyway, back to the limericks, here's my attempt at a philosophical one.

Knowledge.

A clever young man from Nepal
Wrote all that he knew on a wall
Then he had to be frank
When he saw it was blank
And admit he knew nothing at all.