- Joined
- 26 Apr 03
- Moves
- 26771
Originally posted by royalchickenThere was a young lady from Niger
A woman I know is a flirt,
Climbing high mountaintops in a skirt.
She says it is nice,
When she climbs on the ice,
And keeps those below more alert....
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger
They came back from the ride
With the lady inside
And the smile on the face of the tiger!
A man, his wife & mothering law all go on holiday abroad to the holy land. Unexpectedly during the holiday the mothering law dies. The husband goes to the local undertakers to make arrangements. "It cost $5000 dollars to fly the body back to the US or $400 for a local burial" said the undertaker. "We have to send her back to the US" said the husband. "But the $400 funeral is very good sir" answered the undertaker. "No" said the man "It has to be in the US, 2000 years ago a man was buried somewhere around here then 3 days later he came back to life..............................I just can't take that chance." 🙂
A guy wakes up one morning with one hell of a hangover.
The first thing he sees is some pain killers and a glass of water. He takes the pain killers and looks around the room - his clothes were lying to one side, washed and ironed and the room was spotlessly clean. There was a also a note on his bed-side table: "Morning honey, I've gone to do some shopping, there's breakfast for you in the kitchen. Love you."
As he walks into he kitchen, there's a big breakfast waiting for him with fresh orange juice and everything.
His son is also sitting down, eating breakfast.
"What happened last night?" he asks his son. "Dad came back at about 3am, three sheets, shouting all the time, breaking furniture and then took a piss in the hall" replied his son.
"I don't understand, why is your mother so nice to me then?"
"Well, when she evetually got dad into the bedroom and tried to take dad's pants off, you shouted: "Hey lady, take your hands off me! I'm a married man!""
Originally posted by dylthats great! 😵😵😵😵
An Aussie bloke is having a quiet drink in a bar and leans over to the big guy next to him and says, 'Do you wanna hear a Kiwi joke?
The big guy replies, 'Well mate, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 1.90 m tall, 125 kg and I played as a forward for the All Blacks."
"The guy next to me is 1.85 m, weighs 115 kg and he's an ex- ...[text shortened]... joke?"
The first bloke says, "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times."
Originally posted by Crowley*confused*
A guy wakes up one morning with one hell of a hangover.
The first thing he sees is some pain killers and a glass of water. He takes the pain killers and looks around the room - his clothes were lying to one side, washed and ironed and the room was spotlessly clean. There was a also a note on his bed-side table: "Morning honey, I've gone to do some shoppin ...[text shortened]... take dad's pants off, you shouted: "Hey lady, take your hands off me! I'm a married man!""
emm-i'm confused...😛
Originally posted by CrowleyYeah, I don't get it?
A guy wakes up one morning with one hell of a hangover.
The first thing he sees is some pain killers and a glass of water. He takes the pain killers and looks around the room - his clothes were lying to one side, washed and ironed and the room was spotlessly clean. There was a also a note on his bed-side table: "Morning honey, I've gone to do some shoppin ...[text shortened]... take dad's pants off, you shouted: "Hey lady, take your hands off me! I'm a married man!""
Originally posted by royalchickenPosada is potential tying run.
Ah, Phlabibit my friend,
Incompleteness: is it a trend?
While I may be sneery,
I must pose the query,
And ask outright: "How did it end?"
He swings at Kim’s sidearm gun,
Ramirez fields the ball,
Amazing us all,
6 to 4 and the Yankees are done!
[i]Manny actually ran to catch the ball! He ran, dove, and came up with a snow-cone catch….