WHO SAID THAT HISTORY WAS BORING????????
Life in the 1500's
These are interesting...
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in
May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour.
Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the
house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other
sons and men, then the women and finally the children Last of all the
babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."
Houses had thatched roofs, thick straw-piled high, with no wood
underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get
slippery in the winter when wet , so they spread thresh (straw) on floor
to help keep their footing.
As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until when you opened
the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was
placed in the entrance-way. Hence the saying a "thresh hold." (Getting
quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that
always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to
the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot, nine days old."
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust."
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would
sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and re-use the grave.
When re-opening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have
scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying
people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it
through the coffin and up through the ground and tied it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift"😉 to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a dead ringer." And that's the truth...
Now, whoever said that History was boring! ! !
(Maybe this wasn't funny, but I hope you found it interesting!)😀
The following is supposedly an actual question on a university chemistry exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (give off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Explain your reasoning.
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and at the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do notbelong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With the birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
2) If Hell is expanding as a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explain why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
Originally posted by StarrmanLucky bugger...I wish I could get an A on my Science/Chemistry exam....
The following is supposedly an actual question on a university chemistry exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (give off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Explain your ...[text shortened]... why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
Enjoy
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports
commentators during the Olympics that they would
like to take back:
1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava
from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during
her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely
horse and I speak from personal experience since I
once mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents,
especially my mother and father."
4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries,
and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them
really that serious."
5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I
should think we can expect the same thing again."
6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the
opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it
all over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that
nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the
cox of the British crew."
8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere.
It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is
playing so well is that, before the final round, his
wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my
God, what have I just said?"
😉
ok I have three really funny jokes, and since I should be doing my german homework, meaning I have nothing better to do anyway... here they are^^
1. A man is sitting at a bar when a really good-looking woman walks in, and he can't help but stare. She walks over to him, and before he has a chance to apologize, she says: "I'll do anything you want for 100 bucks... but under one condition: You have to be able to tell me what you want me to do in three words."
He thinks for a moment, hands her 100 dollars and says... "paint my house!"
😀
2. This woman asks her husband to go out and buy her cigarettes, so he goes out only to find the store closed. So he goes into a bar, hoping to find a vending machine. There is this beautiful woman sitting at the bar, and he starts talking to her and they end up in bed. Suddenly, he sits up and goes "damn, my wife!"
Then he asks the woman if she has any talcum powder. She hands him some, he puts it on his hands and leaves. When he comes home, is wife is waiting for him. "Where have you been?"
"Well sweetie, I went out to buy you cigarettes, but the store was closed so I looked for a vending machine in a bar and I met this woman and we ended up in bed."
"Let me see your hands"
So he shows her his hands and she says....
"You bastard! You went bowling again!"
3... umm... damn, I forgot the last one, but I'll post it when I remember^^