Go back
Jokes and the Culture of Laugh

Jokes and the Culture of Laugh

General

L

Buenos Aires

Joined
13 Mar 03
Moves
7218
Clock
08 Mar 04
Vote Up
Vote Down



This story traces its origins back to a small Scottish fishing village called Bridge of Allan which is known for harvesting tench and, more to the point, for holding annual events to see who could eat the most of the stringy fish in one sitting. It started off quite small but as it is the only contest of its kind, it soon attracted widespread, even international, contestants.

The year in question, the final saw portly local Graham Hicks (from Fife - not far away) up against Sweden's Sven Larssen. In what was described by locals as a tough encounter, the final took place every Saturday until a best-of-five result was achieved. Hicks ran out the eventual winner in the fourth round, eating 11 fish and beating his much fancied opponent by two. But no one summed it up better than the local rag, The Bridge Bugle, which ran with the headline:
ONE TO THREE FOR FIFE'S HICKS, SVEN ATE NINE TENCH


😀

pradtf

VeggieChess

Joined
03 Jun 02
Moves
7483
Clock
08 Mar 04
Vote Up
Vote Down

this should generate some nostalgia.

in friendship,
prad

While browsing through some dust-covered archival material in the recesses of
the Roman Section of the British Museum, a researcher recently came across a
tattered parchment. After some effort he translated it and found that it was a
letter from a man called Plutonius with the title of "magister fastorium," or
keeper of the calendar, to one Cassius. It was dated, strangely enough, 1
B.C., January 7 -- or 2000 years ago (remember, there was no year zero). The
text of the message follows:

Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change from
BC to AD is giving us a lot of headaches and we haven't much time left. I
don't know how people will cope with working the wrong way around. Having been
working happily downwards forever, now we have to start thinking upwards. You
would think that someone would have thought of it earlier and not left it to
us to sort it all out at this last minute.

I spoke to Caesar the other evening. He was livid that Julius hadn't done
something about it when he was sorting out the calendar. He said he could see
why Brutus turned nasty. We called in the consulting astrologers, but they
simply said that continuing downwards using minus BC won't work. As usual, the
consultants charged a fortune for doing nothing useful. As for myself, I just
can't see the sand in an hour glass flowing upwards. We have heard that there
are three wise men in the East who have been working on the problem, but
unfortunately they won't arrive until it's all over. Some say the world will
cease to exist at the moment of transition. Anyway we are still continuing to
work on this blasted Y zero K problem and I will send you a parchment if
anything further develops.

- Plutonius -

p
Happy Hour Hero.

Albuquerque, NM

Joined
20 Mar 02
Moves
14195
Clock
08 Mar 04
Vote Up
Vote Down

...So the duck says, "put it on my bill."

d
The Godfather

e8

Joined
29 Jan 02
Moves
52216
Clock
09 Mar 04
Vote Up
Vote Down

Here's one I heard this morning:

Shortly after the death of Ludvig van Beethoven, some people passing by his grave hear his 9th symphony playing backwards, with the sound coming from the grave. later they pass by again, and hear the 6th playing backwards. Later again, it's the fifth, playing backwards as usual. They are so concerned, they ask the gravedigger what is happening. the gravedigger says 'Don't worry! He is just decomposing!'

s
515 + 30 days

Syver Yurt TC

Joined
08 Mar 03
Moves
38202
Clock
09 Mar 04
1 edit
Vote Up
Vote Down

Rubbish. How could anything written be dated "1 BC"? Unless the scribe was a time traveller?

skeeter

s
515 + 30 days

Syver Yurt TC

Joined
08 Mar 03
Moves
38202
Clock
09 Mar 04
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by pradtf
this should generate some nostalgia.

in friendship,
prad

While browsing through some dust-covered archival material in the recesses of
the Roman Section of the British Museum, a researcher recently came across a
tattered parchment. After some effort he translated it and found that it was a
letter from a man called Plutonius with the title of "magis ...[text shortened]... problem and I will send you a parchment if
anything further develops.

- Plutonius -
Rubbish! How could anything written be dated "1 BC" unless the scribe was a time traveller?

skeeter

pradtf

VeggieChess

Joined
03 Jun 02
Moves
7483
Clock
09 Mar 04
1 edit
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by skeeter
Rubbish! How could anything written be dated "1 BC" unless the scribe was a time traveller?

skeeter
well, skeeter, it probably has something to do with the awkward roman number system which is bad enough considering they insisted on using letters for numbers instead of numbers so what do you expect, but i won't go into that since i already did so extensively on page 3 of this thread.

in fiendship,
prad

d
The Godfather

e8

Joined
29 Jan 02
Moves
52216
Clock
10 Mar 04
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by pradtf
in fiendship,
prad
Hi Prad, did you really mean this 'in fiendship'? So unlike you!😛
David

pradtf

VeggieChess

Joined
03 Jun 02
Moves
7483
Clock
10 Mar 04
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by dfm65
Hi Prad, did you really mean this 'in fiendship'? So unlike you!😛
David
david,

it just appears every now and then. 😀
i really can't help it anymore than the horns 😀

in friendship,
prad

Pawnokeyhole
Krackpot Kibitzer

Right behind you...

Joined
27 Apr 02
Moves
16879
Clock
10 Mar 04
Vote Up
Vote Down

Why did the swinger think he was fit to drive?

Pawnokeyhole
Krackpot Kibitzer

Right behind you...

Joined
27 Apr 02
Moves
16879
Clock
10 Mar 04
Vote Up
Vote Down

He'd only had a couple...

p
Happy Hour Hero.

Albuquerque, NM

Joined
20 Mar 02
Moves
14195
Clock
10 Mar 04
Vote Up
Vote Down

I guess I'm supposed to keep my jokes at least a little clean on this thread, so here goes...

Three (insert "stupid" stereotype here) guys go for a walk in the desert. Guy 1 brings food, Guy 2 brings water, and Guy 3 brings a car door.
Guy 1: "Why did you bring water?"
Guy 2: "Well, in case if we get thirsty, we can drink. Why did you bring food?"
Guy 1: "Well, in case if we get hungry, we can eat."
Guy 2: "Why did you bring a car door?"
Guy 3: "Well, in case if we get hot, I can roll down the window."

L

Buenos Aires

Joined
13 Mar 03
Moves
7218
Clock
12 Mar 04
Vote Up
Vote Down


Another joke in french 🙂

-----------------------------

Un Français, un Anglais et un Québecois trinquent dans une petite brasserie de Montréal.

Le Français commande une bouteille de champagne, s'en verse dans une coupe et la boit d'un trait. Ensuite, il lance sa bouteille dans les airs et tire un coup de fusil dessus. Il regarde ensuite les deux autres et dit: "En France, on a tellement de champagne qu'on se permet de jamais boire deux fois dans la même bouteille."

L'Anglais commande une bouteille de whisky, se verse un verre et se prend une grande rasade. Il prend la bouteille, la lance dans les airs, sort son fusil et fait exploser sa bouteille. Il se tourne vers les deux autres et dit avec son accent: "En Angleterre, on a tellement de whisky qu'on se permet de jamais boire deux fois dans la même bouteille."

Le Québecois, pour ne pas être en reste, commande une grosse Bleue et la boit d'un seul coup! Il sort son fusil et tire immédiatement sur l'Anglais. Il se tourne vers le Français et dit: "Chez nous, on a tellement d'Anglais, qu'on se permet de jamais boire deux fois avec le même!"


L

Buenos Aires

Joined
13 Mar 03
Moves
7218
Clock
12 Mar 04
Vote Up
Vote Down


I feel that I must to make a pause posting jokes...

From the thread "Madrid" I want to quote the post of bobbyboomer:

"I feel a great sadness tonight for the people who were killed today in Madrid. And for their families who have suffered a great loss. Another act of violence in our world has ended lives, and changed many more forever. I have no answers, only questions. We had a thread awhile ago about life and the Golden Rule. Perhaps a good rule is: Enjoy today, tomorrow is not promised to any of us."

He has just expressed my feelings. :'(

Believe me, I'm crying. In 1998 I was for a few days at Madrid, and I had the pleasure to know only beatiful people. I'm really shocked.

I'm very sad. Sorry.

Michael (aka LittleBear)

V
Thinking...

Odersfelt

Joined
20 Jan 03
Moves
14580
Clock
12 Mar 04
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by LittleBear

I feel that I must to make a pause posting jokes...

From the thread "Madrid" I want to quote the post of bobbyboomer:

"I feel a great sadness tonight for the people who were killed today in Madrid. And for their families who have suffered a great loss. Another act of violence in our world has ended lives, and changed many more forever. I have ...[text shortened]... nly beatiful people. I'm really shocked.

I'm very sad. Sorry.

Michael (aka LittleBear)
Don't stop - we need humour!
I even got the last (french) joke - kind of at my expense 😀

Cookies help us deliver our Services. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Learn More.