a duck walks into a bar, approaches the bartender and asks
"Got any jam?"
"No mate...we don't sell jam" replies the bartender
the duck nods his head and leaves.
Next day the duck walks into the bar again, approaches the counter and asks
"Got any jam?"
"No mate...still no jam" the bartender replies wearily
the duck nods and leaves
The day after, the duck walks into the same bar and yet again he asks
"Got any jam?"
The bartender puts down his glass, turns to the duck and says
"look mate, we're a pub...we sell beer and stuff...we don't sell jam! try ASDA's or something"
the duck nods and leaves
For the next two weeks the duck keeps up the same routine until finally the bartender has had enough; he grabs the duck by his neck and says
"Right you!!! if you come into my bar asking for jam ONE MORE TIME I'm gonna nail you to the f***ing wall now p;ss off"
the duck nods and leaves
Next day the duck walks into the bar, approaches the bartender and asks
"Got any nails?"
"No!?!" replies the bartender, surprised at his new question
"Got any jam?
Originally posted by AgergRead all the jokes that have been posted and you will see that it has been done ,although slighty different ,same outcome.
a duck walks into a bar, approaches the bartender and asks
"Got any jam?"
"No mate...we don't sell jam" replies the bartender
the duck nods his head and leaves.
Next day the duck walks into the bar again, approaches the counter and asks
"Got any jam?"
"No mate...still no jam" the bartender replies wearily
the duck nods and ...[text shortened]... plies the bartender, surprised at his new question
"Got any jam?
Originally posted by AgergWhy did the duck want jam?
a duck walks into a bar, approaches the bartender and asks
"Got any jam?"
"No mate...we don't sell jam" replies the bartender
the duck nods his head and leaves.
Next day the duck walks into the bar again, approaches the counter and asks
"Got any jam?"
"No mate...still no jam" the bartender replies wearily
the duck nods and ...[text shortened]... plies the bartender, surprised at his new question
"Got any jam?
Originally posted by AgergI don't get it.
a duck walks into a bar, approaches the bartender and asks
"Got any jam?"
"No mate...we don't sell jam" replies the bartender
the duck nods his head and leaves.
Next day the duck walks into the bar again, approaches the counter and asks
"Got any jam?"
"No mate...still no jam" the bartender replies wearily
the duck nods and ...[text shortened]... plies the bartender, surprised at his new question
"Got any jam?
Originally posted by huckleberryhoundYou mean 'bread' because ducks like to eat bread, so it would make more sense if they ask for bread instead of jam, right? still, I don't find the joke funny in any way and I'm not sure it works better with bread... I'm sure it's hilarious, I just don't see it 😕 .
the joke should be "have you got any bread", i think there was something lost in the interpretaion there.
A little bird was flying south for the winter when he ran in to a snow storm. Well the little birds wings froze and he fell to the ground sure he was going to die. He was chirping, scared to death when a cow came by and took a crap on him. The little bird was so happy because the cows crap was warm and the crap was keeping him alive.
He was singing really loud when a cat heard him and came and dug him out of the crap and ate him .
Moral - not every one that craps on you is your enemy and not every one that digs you out of crap is your friend
Originally posted by FrenchQueenThe joke is that the duck kept asking for bread, so the barman told the duck that he would nail his beak to the table. The duck then asked if the barman had any nails, and when he found out that he had not. . .persisted in asking for bread safe in that knowledge.
You mean 'bread' because ducks like to eat bread, so it would make more sense if they ask for bread instead of jam, right? still, I don't find the joke funny in any way and I'm not sure it works better with bread... I'm sure it's hilarious, I just don't see it 😕 .
If it need explained, usually it means it is a bad joke, but the first timke i was told that joke i laughed my ass off.
ME AGREE WIT FRENCHIQWEEEN. STOOPID DUCK.
Anyone actually have any decent jokes?
Come on! I've got nothing. But to start the ball rolling:
'It was my girlfriend's birthday, so I bought her a present. A book. "Cheap and Easy Vegetarian Cooking". Because she's a vegetarian, and, well...'
(Jim C.)